There’s no time to be lazy, no time to be boring, no time to be this self-deprecating waste of space and energy. Stop making excuses. Listen to this episode and change your life, immediately.
Follow Angel on Instagram to join this radical community and change some f’ing lives.
— SOME TOPICS ANGEL COVERS: —
- You’re in charge of your own happiness
- Take radical responsibility for your own emotional landscape
- Change your mindset and taking action in a positive way
- Shift your inner dialogue to that of self-love
- You are a product of previously learned behaviour
- Don’t wait for anyone to sweep you off your feet. Do the work yourself
- Do things that make you feel good, and your children will thank you for it
- If you’re not turning people off, you’re not turning people on
— FULL TRANSCRIPT —
Angel: Top of the morning to you, my friends. What I wanted to come on today and chat about is a little bit along the lines of something that Em and I were talking about over breakfast, and that is something Haley would have imprinted over a year and a half ago. That is, “Your goals are a place to come from. They are not a place to run to.” This very much marries all of my philosophies, all of the things that I have been obsessed with in regards to mindset and manifesting, and the reality we create with our thoughts and our mind.
All of the amazing juicy ridiculous shit that Joe Dispenza has been doing for a long time now that we are finally scientifically quantitating and measuring. That people are really having no choice but to get on-board with because we know for a fact now it’s either that we self-perpetuate or we self-prophesize our one demise or we create a reality for ourselves, and that really has everything to do with your words being the building blocks of everything that you create. Whether that is toxic as fuck or glorious and amazing and radiant and angelic.
This is something, it’s a philosophy that I struggled with for many years trying to discuss because people always resist it. Everybody wants to believe that they are miserable, that they are cursed, that they have to stay that way, that they are a victim of circumstance, and I am so empathetic to that feeling. I lived in that state of mind. I was in that place. I saw that state of mind destroy my whole family. I saw that state of mind destroy my whole lineage. It was a really active decision on my part to really lean within myself and take, as Colin from Queer Cosmos says, “Radical responsibility about my emotional landscape, about the thoughts that are moving around my head, and how they inevitably affect everything comes afterward.” I felt like if I stepped into that responsibility, it meant that A, I had to be responsible for what I created and I could no longer blame anyone else, but B, I would upset or I would offend those around me who were insistent on playing the victim card, insistent on being miserable, insistent on living a life of complete toxicity.
There’s a lot of reasons that I just avoided having these conversations or incorporating them into my work. The psychology of human behavior is that we are obsessed with proving ourselves right. We will do whatever it is we need to do to substantiate our claim or substantiate our truth, even when that’s an unsubstantiated truth or a truth based on a false reality. Okay? We will do anything we need to do to prove ourselves right.
Now, when you are working with individuals who, at the forefront and at the core of everything you’re trying to create, have to be in control of their mindset, it’s like non-negotiable, trying to explain to them the imperativeness of this, the urgency when they are only invested in proving their miserableness right, it has been one of the biggest challenges of my career. It’s been really frustrating. It’s been really defeating. It’s been really, really sad. It’s been really problematic to watch genius people, creatives with so much potential and so much heart and so much everything that this world so desperately needs, really just put everything to the sideline because they are so convinced that proving their self-sabotage right requires more of their attention. I’m sure you all know people like that, right? They just want to believe that their life sucks and there’s nothing you can do to help them because that is what they are convinced of, which is, “You can bring the horse to the water, but you can’t force it to drink.”
That’s something that, ironically, I used to hear a lot of people in my life say, and it’s something that I realized that the older I get, the only thing I can do is be responsible for my own happiness, for my own mindset, for my own train of thought. I am the only person who should and needs to be radically responsible for that. When I distract myself with trying to make everybody else happy, when I distract myself with trying to influence everybody else’s mindset, when I attempt to try and make everybody better people without looking within myself, I’m being like, “How am I reacting? How am I interacting?
How am I taking action? How am I taking non-action? How is that impacting me?” All that is is an indulgence of ego and a self-righteous, fucking scared, self-sabotage, high horse that I’m on that keeps me distracted from just doing what it is I need to do for myself by talking about what everyone else isn’t doing for themselves. Right? This is something that I see that is fucking rampant. It is the, “Let me criticize what everyone else is doing wrong. Let me cast judgment when that judgment is coming from a place of myself,” which is, I’ve been judged the same way I am judging this person.”
Being unhappy is a lot easier than being happy. Being successful is so terrifying that I’m going to avoid being successful at all costs and then say that my life sucks and I’m the victim when actually, it’s just me making sure that I do not reach that epicenter of everything it is that I want and everything it is that I want to be. It’s interesting psychologically, behavior, personality, which another beautiful thing that Joe Dispenza says is, “Your personality creates your reality,” is that at the end of the day, if you are not conscious of the ways you show up in the world and what you think and how that impacts your reality, you’re deluded.
If you believe for one second that the three things I’m going to talk about in a second are not hugely problematic for society as a whole expansion of human evolution, et cetera, you are fucking deluded. That is that human beings are so terrified of success, and so terrified of being happy, and think so lowly of themselves, that these three things combined are the very which thing that keep us all cuckolded to our shame, and our anger and our grief, and our misery, and our debt and our bankruptcy, our emotional bankruptcy. It’s what keeps us fucking anchored and shackled to our dementors, everything. That is we are terrified of success, we are terrified of being happy, and we have really low self-worth.
Now, that might sound radical, but this is true. When you sit with people and you actually start to ask them to define what happiness looks like for them, and how they stumble and fall on their feet, and they genuinely have never even thought about it, they say happy as is the word. Often, in the birth space, “What kind of birth experience are you envisioning? Talk to me about your dream birth. Talk to me about your dream postpartum experience,” and they’ll be like, “I want a happy, healthy home birth and a happy, healthy baby,” and I’m like, “What the fuck does that even mean?”
Right away, you know that they’re creating this reality based on ambiguous, non-descriptive explanations of things, which basically means that they’re floundering to create something that– and they are creating, without even knowing what it is they actually want. When we talk about happiness and success, when’s the last time you’ve actually created a blueprint for that? Some kind of archetype, some kind of description where you’ve like painted it all out. What does it look like? What does it feel like? What does it sound like? How do I want happiness to feel like in my body? How do I want success to look like in my body? The individual version of success and happiness per person because we won’t even go there.
We are so scared about what it means to take up space and be responsible, and pioneer and lead by example and influence, and be cataclysmically joyful every day of our lives because we are so obsessed and entrenched and conditioned and addicted to being unhappy and unsuccessful. We’re addicted to it. We will not even let ourselves move towards a frame of thought that even honors what that happiness and success looks like for us as an individual. That’s how confronted it is. Instead, we like, “I dreamt I won the lottery. I had this amazing dream where I was driving this car. I had this amazing dream where I had a house in Tuscany,” and that’s the extent of it.
Listen to me, if Dumbledore taught me anything, it’s that really consciously removing thoughts from your brain, putting them into the Pensieve, in another metaphorical way is that, until you realize that your success, and your happiness, and all the ways you can pioneer, and all the ways you can change the world, and all the ways you can change your own life start with one thought that you don’t pay attention to, that fleets and leaves, and you lose access to forever, you’re going to be grilled real quick, my friend.
Everything in this world that matters was created in a random thought on a toilet bowel by someone who is brave enough or risky enough or ballsy enough or whatever fucking word you want to say to be like, “Fuck you all,” I want this and I’m not going to stop. You know what? I want to be happy and there’s nothing you can do to take that away from me. Being conscious of understanding where you are in that place and how it all starts with how it is you see things, how you believe them, and how you feel them as the building blocks to what it is you will create, advertently or inadvertently, is everything.
When we discuss manifesting as a woo-woo concept, when we discuss laws of attraction as a woo-woo concept, I get it why it would seem really like, “Eeh. What does that even mean? Eeh, that’s spiritual bypassing. Eeh, these people haven’t done the work,” I get it. I’m talking to you about balls to the wall, action-taking, knowing what it is in your brain and your soul and your body, what you want and what feels good, and always using what feels good as a compass to lead you to where it is, your fulfillment, your potential, the expressed version of yourself is, and believing it and seeing it, and then taking action that’s conducive to already being there. Which means that that chemistry, that chemical reaction, that relationship you have with your dreams, having that relationship with them before they even happen means that it’s already happened.
It’s not about, “I’m just going to let everything works out.” No, it’s actually believing it, “This isn’t a dream. I already have it. Therefore, any action I take right now is leading me to that thing”. Right? Your Goals are a place to come from not to run to. If you stick to this linear mentality if you stick to this progression by fucking textbooks and the way people tell you that that’s how you evolve and that’s how you get to point A to Z, and you’re floundering because you don’t even know what your objectives look like. You don’t even know what happiness looks like, or feels like. You can’t even define success. What exactly are you working towards? How can you expect any action you take right now to be productive, to be intuitively lead and to be ultimately bringing you to the place that you want to be? It doesn’t make sense.
Yet, everybody is so stuck and obsessed with this idea of martyrdom, and sacrifice, and burning themselves to the ground. Releasing whatever sin and whatever tainted mentality they have in reaching this idea of like, religious high immortality and being the most holy thing and I want to be the next Paleripattu and I want to be the next Mother Teresa and this is how I’m going to be recognized in my neighborhood, like, “When I die, I want my neighbors to be like, ‘Angela was such a good mother. She always put her kids before herself. I never even saw her buy a new pair of shoes. That woman just did so much for her kids.'” No. What is this bullshit illusion? That’s the legacy you want to leave your kids? Martyrdom, death, sacrifice, and then influencing them to recreate that same reality? That is absolutely absurd. It doesn’t even make any sense, right?
My legacy is going to be one of, “Hello children. Hello, Ruby & Odin. This is me your mother. I’m always following what feels good. I am always following what feels amazing. I’m always following what makes me happy.” Because then the kind of mother I am, the kind of example I am, the kind of leader I am, the kind of beacon I am, the kind of nuisance I am is one that is enlightening by example. Straight up that’s it. That means that I tell my kids that, “Fuck what everyone else says. Show up how you want to show up. Do the damn thing that feels incredible and watch how everyone around has changed just because you put your happiness first, just because you took five minutes to define what success feels like for you.”
It is so radical. Radical responsibility is just sitting within yourself and being like, “Okay. Mother fuckers. I am me. No one else on this planet, seven billion people are me. Nobody’s responsible for my happiness or my success but me. If anyone and everyone cannot be responsible for my happiness, how the fuck are they responsible for making me the victim?” No. You give people that power. You give misery the power, right? If no one is responsible for making your happiness, then no one is responsible for making you happy. No one’s responsible for making you unhappy. If you truly believe that everyone is responsible for making you unhappy, of course, you’re fucking waiting for somebody else to make you happy.
The radical responsibility has nothing to do with you and everything to do with everyone else. It’s the easier thing to do, to blame everyone, and to stay unhappy, and to stay on successful, and complain take no action, or take shitty action, and keep perpetuating this because, at the end of the day, you prove yourself right, and that’s what we want, right? The crux of the ego is that I told you so to yourself. If I ever put myself in a situation where I’m proving myself, right, constantly, there’s a problem. The theme of my year this year was “blow your own damn mind.”
How do I do that? Prove yourself wrong over. and over, and over again because I don’t have any investment in proving myself right. I don’t care. Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong. How can I be proved wrong today? How can I take action today that is the action that my ego or the non-serving part of my ego to be clear would take and would fuck me up with? How can do something that’s spontaneous? How can I challenge my patterns? How can I challenge the behaviors that I’ve been just fucking imitating since the day was born? How do I get to break up with every story I’ve been told and sold since I’m a child today?
How do I rewrite this entire thing by believing that this has nothing to do with being right and it has everything to do with trying something different and proving yourself wrong. 95% of what you are right now is a learned and imitated behavior. By the time you’re 35, 95%. That means that you’re operating in a state of pattern and perpetuation, et cetera, et cetera, you’ve read a boo, and guess where you learned that book? From somebody else who learned from somebody else who learned from somebody else.
Basically, what you’re telling me is that 95% of everything you are, is regurgitated misery in a lineage of regurgitated misery. If we’re lucky, we get like 10% of something great, but when you step into your 30s, something radical happens, and the responsibility, and the voice, and your lower conscious, and your intuition comes to the forefront and it’s like, “This is your opportunity to rewrite your story, rewrite the story for your children.
It is huge and the only way to do that is by stepping away from everything it is you think you know, and everything it is you’ve adopted as your own, and everything it is you’re subscribed to, and all of the bullshit that you have done to just simply be the thing that you’re told you need to be or believe and be like, “Sorry, I’m breaking up with all this and actually, I just want to be proven wrong every day. I want to be proven wrong all day long, right?”
I just had a coaching session with someone and I said, “The only advice I have for you and what you’re going to need to do and you’re going to do now for the rest of your life after this session is break the rules, break the rules. Break them, all of them, whatever rule whatever story, whatever parameter tried to contain your fire bye-bye and instead, what feels good right now?” This is not spiritual bypassing. This is not anything that is even mildly woo-woo. We know that something uniquely powerful happens when you are within your body and all of a sudden, the parts of you click like cogs in a factory and you see something, and you believe it and then you take action like it’s already yours.
Then everything you do is moving towards that thing because your body is already chemically circuitry programmed to not listen to any other thing unless it is at the frequency of your highest and expressed potential, Who?? calls this the vortex. There’s so much amazing conversation about this right now and that is you get to choose whether you stay fucking miserable, or you create your version of happiness and success, but the catch here is that nobody can teach you how to do this because it is individual.
This is not safety. Safety is not success and happiness. Homeostasis is not success and happiness. Patterns, behaviors that keep you cuckolded and anchored, that’s not success, and that is not happiness. It is the place that you go to when you bulldoze all of your bullshit, and you resurrect your joy, and it’s often the wounded inner triumph, it’s often the person that you murdered as a– For me it was my six-year-old self, the one who’s imaginative, and curious, and inquisitive, and just so excited to be alive, and be like, “How did you feel? How did you make decisions?”
Let me tell you, my six-year-old self, they weren’t worrying about all this other nonsense. No, they followed what felt good, and what felt playful, and what felt amazing, and what made them feel alive, and how they were laughing, and how they were connecting and that’s essentially what I’m doing right now. My life has changed in ways that you can’t even imagine. I’m not an anomaly. Lots of people have done this.
I’m not reinventing the wheel. I’m just speaking to you from my heart and my soul right now and that is simply just going within yourself and being like, your whole life as a little girl, you’re told that you’re waiting for some prince charming, who’s going to sweep you off your feet from your misery, and take you to this castle and save you from everything it is you think you know and you’re always looking for someone to rescue you, and you’re always looking for this illusion of safety and the illusion of happiness and the illusion of success, when you realize, in fact, as Valerie Frankel says, “The heroine’s journey has everything to do with the call to adventure.”
The Exodus, tapping into that lower form of consciousness, that intuition, reclaiming the things that you know, that you feel within your body, knowing these things, and then really coming down like the atonement, the father. It’s everything that follows finding the mentor, finding someone who’s going to help you fine-tune this and if you don’t, all this happens at the end of the day, is that we write stories and books and fiction about heroes, by the way, not heroines, we won’t even go there. We all believe that it’s somebody else. We’re not good enough to realize that happiness, we’re not good enough to realize that level of fulfillment. We’re not strong enough.
We’re not clever enough, especially if you’re female or special for someone in a disenfranchised, marginalized community, we believe this stuff. We believe it because we’re proving ourselves right by mechanics. Organics don’t want you to lean into that. Mechanic says, “This feels gross. Let me create a new.” But you’re like, “I can’t because of my mom. I can’t because of my dad. I can’t because of my family. I can’t because of my siblings. I can’t because I made these promises. I can because I committed to my boss. I can’t. I can’t, I can’t” Then by the end of it, you’ve created a fucking castle/prison out of I-can’ts.
Then you’re sitting in that I-can’t prison castle and you’re like, “My life sucks. Everyone’s sucks. I’m the victim. Everything’s terrible. I wish someone would come to rescue me.” From the same fucking castle that you put yourself in. The same place that you imprisoned yourself in. That’s what I want to come and talk to you about today. Yes, Ashley just said, “Imagine if we abandon modern schooling and just kept on the path of imagination and let that lead us from such a young age.” Bingo. Bingo. That’s precisely it. Imagine we tell our children, “By the way our power comes from our creative power not making babies per se, our creative power. When we are creating we are happy.”
This is why in a culture that is so sick to disconnect and so robbed and deprived of creating and playing and being an imagination. We’ve actually channeled into toxic compulsive creating, which is technology, which is all of the things that we’ve created because we’re so deprived as children that as we get older, we’re fucking starving for creativity and end up creating shit that destroys all the while destroying the women and the people who create us.
It’s so systemic. It’s so convoluted and so problematic. Absolutely, that if we get down to, as Haley says, “Play bigger, feel better,” as we look into the ways that you can teach children how to use their instinct and intuition, how to actually follow rebellion as the precursor to freedom and self-expression, how to create, how to be artistically driven individuals versus productivity. Productivity, go quick, be quick, produce more. Imagine what we create for our children.
In the meantime, people like me and others are being questioned because they’re like, “You’re a terrible parent. You’re talking about bleed with your children. You’re fucking wanting to travel with them, beating the system.” I get it. The resistance is normal. When you’re radically responsibility team, yourself and your children’s lives, people resist. Too fucking bad, keep doing it anyway because you’re doing what feels good. You’re doing what feels good. You’re listening to your children and you’re listening to your inner child. You’re creating a level of parenting and space and love and support for your children in the same ways you’re doing for yourself.
There’s so much here that needs to be discussed. For me, this all comes down to my philosophies, what I’m envisioning for the world, what it is I’m trying to create, what freedom means for me by definition. What happiness feels like for me by definition, what success looks like for me by definition in order for me to create a life by design, in order for me to write the blueprints, in order for me scale every mother fucking mountain and take everything single one of those milestones and every single one of those struggles to strength and actually target and then earn my right to say, “You know what? This is not good enough.” You can be happy and you’re your own fucking problem right now.
Your brain is the reason this is all going wrong. Your brain is the reason that you’re not where you want to be. Not your mother. Not your father. Not your abuse. Not your trauma. None of it. We all have stories. Do you understand? This is what it is. It’s 2019. We all have baggage. We’re all carrying pain. We’re all carrying trauma every single one of us. This is not a competition. It’s not a contest. No more tall poppy syndrome. It’s how do I fucking help you realize the potential of everything it is you are by first realizing the potential of everything it is I am, which is the poetry, and the purpose, and the passion, oozing that joy in reclaiming that anger and moving towards that which makes me feel good as to lead by the charge.
I don’t need swords to go into battle. I don’t need brute force. All I need is some level of self-reflection and words and ways to inspire you to move to achieve the thing it is you want to achieve. That is the covertness of it all. This is the Trojan horse. It’s the ways that my womb is the spindle. It’s the ways that every single which way we connect is the fabric. It is the thread. It is the tapestry of what we are living. If we do not do this together, there’s no blanket. If you don’t come with me and we don’t create something together, none of us are protected. None of us are kept warm and we’re isolated and we’re sick and we’re cold and we’re frustrated and we’re depressed.
What do you think happens afterward? Everyone is there and they’re sick, cold, depressed, isolated states mind, being the world sucks. No. Take some fucking action. Take some radical action for yourself and for your children and for the people you love, for your pets, for your plants, everybody. If we all do it together there is hope. I’m sick of having conversations with people every damn day about how there’s no point. We shouldn’t do this. We shouldn’t do that. The world is fucked. No. You’re just fucking lazy and scared. You’re procrastinating. Let me tell you that there’s not going to be any of the end of the world ate my homework. No. There’s no time for that. The end of the world didn’t eat your homework. It is time for you to take action now. Okay. Pay close attention to what you’re thinking in your brain and how’s that creating your reality.
What energy are you projecting? I talked to my students about this. Responsible projection of energy. Responsible consumption of energy. Everything I eat I shit out and affects the world. In terms of energetically, emotionally, how I show up, what I do, the integrity of being what I do when nobody is watching, and how that impacts everybody else. There is no disconnect in any of this. It’s spiral. It is divine. It is cyclical. It is fucking outrageous. It’s impressive. I’m just a small little piece. You’re just a small little piece. There are galaxies. There is vastness that we can’t even imagine. In the same way that we disrespect people, the ways we disrespect birth and death and sex as portals, as rights of passage. The way that we sterilized the human experience by removing humanity from it, like goddamn ice-cream scoop to an eyeball.
The ways we’ve done all of these things. The ways we’ve done them, it is your job to bring humanity back to all of this by bringing reverence to each and every single step of this and taking radical responsibility of your life and how you feel. Because how you feel affects how I live and how I feel affects how you live. You’re affected by my random thought 10 minutes ago to show up here and speak my mind and speak my passion and lead by example and take the charge by telling you this. If I hadn’t done this, you would not be here and you wouldn’t be feeling this. Whatever the fuck it is you’re feeling, confronted, liberating, turned on, terrified, it doesn’t matter.
If you stop taking action, you hold the world back. I say this, this comfort you lean into right now creates freedom for the people that come after you. There’s no more time to be stuck in our heads. There’s no more time to make excuses. “I look fat, I can’t get on Instagram. I haven’t done my make-up, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” There are so many reasons. There’s always a reason. There’s always a reason to stay unhappy. There’s always a reason that it’s not your problem and the next person will do it. There’s always a reason.
Now, as my coach told me a year ago, ask me better questions. Ask me better questions. I’ll give you better answers. That’s exactly what I’m asking of you because I worship each and every one of you and I acknowledge your potential. If I don’t ask better from you, it’s a disrespect to that potential. I’m complicit in the way you fuck up your life and the whole world goes to shit. I’m not going to have any of that. I am the most ruthless person I know. I really, really am. In a good way, I’m soft and I’m savage. In the same way that the panther is fucking vicious, they’re equally as maternal and intelligent. That’s exactly what I want. I want that dichotomy. I want to be the thing that cuts you. I want to be the thing that makes you come.
I just want to say one thing, something that I ask my Doula students to do recently was creating a Pinterest board that was their personal dreams personified. Do you know how many people started putting things their partner wants or their kids want or they think they want because their moms want it, and then they have to react within themselves and be like, “What the fuck? Where do I fit into this?” They start to realize that they’ve never actually thought about what turns them on and makes them happy because they feel guilty and shameful and stupid and non-worthy, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I want to encourage you to do the same thing.
What does happiness mean for you? Start a Pinterest board. What does success look like for you? Start a Pinterest board. Justine said, “30 in two weeks. I feel like I’m about to move mountains. Thank you. Terrified, empowered as fuck”. Yes! Hey, listen. If it isn’t scary, it’s not going to exhilarate you. If everything that was worth scaling was easy, we wouldn’t do it. It’s adrenaline. It’s the thrill. It’s what makes you feel alive. I’m not interested in surviving. Scare me and show me how to thrive. Keep me safe, you show me how to survive. That is not the philosophy I’m adapting.
Erin says, “What keeps your passion flowing?” Oh my God. Mysticism. A level of spirituality that was denied to me my whole life because I didn’t fit into any church I was a part of because I sang too loud, because I thought too profoundly, because I spoke too eloquently because I had too many tattoos because I like to kiss girls and kiss boys. All the ways that my church didn’t accept are the exact ways I pulled away from the spirituality and the occultism and the mysticism and everything that I’m tapping into right now that is literarily setting me on fucking fire. I’m like, “Of course, of course.” Everyone talked to me, make me feel bad about the things that make me feel powerful.
If I’m powerful, I’m a threat. If I’m powerful, then I help other people eradicate the fears. Their fears keep them cuckolded into their X, Y, Z systems. For me, what keeps me passionate right now is my legacy, what I’m leaving my children, or how I’m using my voice, how show up in my body and in the world, what conversations I’m having, how uncomfortable I’m getting, how scared I am, and what I’m doing or creating or impacting through the process, the ways I prove myself wrong, the ways I impress, the ways I can love harder than I love before, the ways I can cry harder than I’ve ever cried, the ways that I can self-actualize more than I’ve ever self-actualized. Each of these is inspiring in their own right.
If you want to chat to me, firstname.lastname@example.org or angelagallo.com. There are so many ways to work with me. If you feel turned on and terrified specifically, you should get in touch with me, because there’s a lot to discuss there. Fuck what others think. This is what Erica says, “Fuck what others think,” FWOT. Every single time you create an excuse or a story or a reason or have a reason whether it’s substantiated or not, to not say what it is you need to say, you actually deprive the people who are desperate to hear your message from having their lives changed by you.
Every time you do not show up and take up space in your fullest potential and expression and conviction, you actually deprive people who need courage and permission to do the same. Every single time you get in your head and indulge your ego about all the reasons that you can ruffle feathers or disappoint or piss people off and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you’re actually killing people who are killing themselves right now to be seen.
Do not listen to the thing in your head. Don’t. Don’t listen to that. I use the Lighthouse example. If you are denying, depriving and are complicit to the ways other people miss out on evolution, or actualization, because you’re stuck in your head, there’s a problem there. You need to show up. I always say this, you cannot turn anybody on if you’re not turning anybody off. You cannot turn anybody on if you’re not turning anybody off. Turning people off and pissing them off and having a conflict, a confrontation is a byproduct of speaking your truth.
Self-actualization comes from speaking your truth and giving people permission to do the same. In a world of so many lies and so many masks and so much bullshit, the greatest gift, the greatest legacy, the best wisdom you can impart in your own bloodline and your eggs and everything beyond conversations you have, is speaking your truth. Which I talk about in my book, The Masks We Wear, where it’s so important, literally knocked down to shut down, reboot and restart upgrading to higher levels, baby.
“It’s not the damn flu session. That’s bullshit superficial talk. Reboot baby, watch me”. Oh my God, that is so good. You know what, I’m going to totally agree with you because every time your body is reacting physically, it’s not because you deserve it. No, it’s a message. We are so disassociated from our bodies, disconnected from our feelings, divorced from our emotions, and totally just literally living here while our body lives here. It’s going to keep making noise until we listen.
You self-actualize when you marry your body, your intuition, your instincts, and everything there and you play it like the most sophisticated instrument possible. You’re fucking right, it’s going to piss you off and get you to listen in whatever way it needs to. Ashley said, “So many people have walked out of my life since I started speaking my truth and I couldn’t be happier. I don’t have space for it. Catch you, bye.” Do you know what I call my truth? My asshole filter. Literally, because every time I show up as me, I actually filter away everyone that is toxic to me, fucking shit, bye-bye. See you.” That made my life easier.
Now I’m like, “Who can I turn off today? Because that makes my life a safer space to be. Who can I turn off today because then it makes my existence more impactful.” It’s just reframing and perspective. Katie said, “When we get our hands on the books, I’ve pre-ordered the two, need to lick the pages of Juju?” All within the next month or so. All within the next month. Right now you can pre-order any of my books. They are not going to be the price they are when they go live, by the way. If you want them at a more affordable rate, it’s now. This is a religious cathartic experience for me.
Everything I’m talking about right now is in all of these books. I have the Doula Of You, The Masks We Wear and then Coming Undone and I just cannot even fucking wait for you to read them all. Nicola, one thing you said is, “Literally how I reacted to my marriage ending because of how much I changed”. Do you know that some people are asking me to actually create a disclaimer before they come to my training? Before you buy a ticket to my training, to have a conversation with your partner and partners, because you don’t come back to the same person, and that actually can freak them out.
I need to have a disclaimer about it. You just reminded me. Brandi said, “We see the reaction of pain as something innately evil instead of the body and souls learning mechanism”. Exactly, which follows us to everywhere. Pain with purpose, the contrast experience, this is like language, right? We’re so obsessed with not feeling and staying alive forever, that we’ve actually forgotten to communicate with our own bodies. Which surprise, surprise means that we’ve forgotten to communicate with our babies and our lovers and the world and everything else in the process.
Pain is immediate, it is a language, it is powerful, it is there. Pain and pleasure, pain and pleasure. The reclamation of pain and pleasure means being literate and fluid in the lyricism of your fullest expression. It’s fucking sexy.
All right, I hope you all have the best today ever.
Yes, they’re all audiobooks. Mary, so when you buy the book, you get an audiobook version two, I should have said that. I’m the one reading out the whole book. You get the book, and then you also get the audio version. They’re all on my site right now. I fucking appreciate you so much. Thank you.
I’m just so excited that I got to create a space where I can safely be whoever the fuck it is I want to be and impact people in the process. Spoiler alert, you can do it too. I love you all. Have a great day.
Share this post
- Tags: podcast