Welcome to another sermon from the church of Angel Phoenix Arsenal. We’re delving into all things boundary setting today and the three absolutely CRUCIAL steps you must take before you can even have that boundaries conversation. If you haven’t explored yourself, haven’t listened to your instincts, your intuition, learned your unique language, then you’ve got no chance of being able to sustain any real boundaries with yourself, or with anyone else.
Listen to your inner voice. Learn the language of your soul and wake up. Do what your body is telling you to do. Stop avoiding the inner work. If you pay attention and make the changes you need to make, boundaries become the byproduct. I absolutely guarantee this.
This episode is an Instagram Live that has been turned into a podcast episode for your listening pleasure. Enjoy, share, and have a wonderful day my loves.
— SOME TOPICS WE COVER: —
- Boundaries are the byproduct of you working on yourself
- The difference between instinct and intuition
- The disconnect that occurs if you aren’t listening to your instincts and intuition
- Self-preservation over self-destruction
- Really listening to what your subconcious is telling you
- Treating yourself the same way you treat others
- Looking at how children take in information. So open. So ready. So intuitive
- Learning the language of you. What makes you tick? What guides you.
- How your body is affected if you don’t trust your instincts and intuition
- The importance of rest and relaxation
— FULL TRANSCRIPT —
Angel: How the fuck is everyone doing? How are we today? I’m having an interesting morning, never a dull moment in this house, let me tell you, or this body. But I’ve had a beautiful last few days, just relaxing and just laying low and refueling and learning some very intense lessons on instinct, intuition, and boundary settings. That is what I’m coming to talk to you about today in typical Angel sermon fashion. I want to take you to motherfucking church. Are we ready?
If you are here and you are feeling not so great, if you are hearing and you’re feeling really great, if you are here and you want to feel great, you’re in the right place. This is a hard-hitting message. This is something that I want to just channel in a gigantic way and deliver and express in a way that is equally as gigantic, because the more work that I do in regards to helping women and people to rebirth themselves, helping them to find their own voices, helping them to determine and fight for their self-worth, it is very clear to me where the links lie and what is it necessary to discuss with people before you can actually teach them how to stop fucking people-pleasing, and how to start putting themselves last on the list, and that is the following.
You might want to get a pen. This is a little bit of a snippet. I write about it in the book and all that kind of stuff, but I think it’s definitely worth saying today because I feel like many of you might need this message. Now, I don’t know anybody, anybody who benefits from not having boundaries, and/or having boundaries and not asserting them. Nobody. I do not know any fucking body on this planet. I’ve never even heard of such a thing where being sacrificial, being very much in the mind of martyrdom, being in the realm of people-pleasing, being obsessively compulsively invested in doing everything for everybody else or avoiding confrontation has been a benefit to anybody since the beginning of humankind. That has been one of the most challenging things to dismantle when people, particularly if they’re very conditioned, they’re entrenched into believing that boundaries are a bad thing. Boundaries are a scary thing. Boundaries are a selfish thing.
A lot of the work that I’ve been doing is actually trying to figure out, okay, so if I cannot make somebody see what a boundary is or value what a boundary is, what angle should I be taking otherwise? Fuck, that’s been fascinating, and I think I’ve finally narrowed it down. That has been that until I can actually show somebody what instinct and intuition looks like, the boundaries are not even a conversation we can have. Why? Funnily enough, I created this three-step process while watching the Conjuring when they’re talking about the steps of demonic possession, which I think is hilarious. I do everything in steps. I do everything in alliteration, and I was like, “Oh my God, that’s what I need to do. I need to actually do the three steps to a full assertion of boundary setting.” It’s just funny because it’s like demonic possession, but anyways it’s cool. Thank you, The Conjuring.
This is what it is. Instinct and intuition, instinct and intuition. If I were to ask you what that even means, what does that mean to you? What is instinct and intuition? Instinct and intuition is the foundation of everything that is clairvoyance, clairsentience, how we stay alive, how we survive, how we respond to situations that are possibly threatening, how we stay hypervigilant, how we take care of our young, how we take care of people, how we know things we shouldn’t know, how we are alert. There are a multitude of things that we call this. Some call the sixth sense, some call maternal instinct, some call it animal instinct. It actually doesn’t even matter. What I do want you to understand is that literally over the last, let’s say even 1000 years, instinct and intuition has been something that has been orchestratedly and systematically pummeled out of us, and instead replaced with the voices in your head.
The reason you are crazy, the thing you cannot trust, because your instinct and your intuition are unsubstantiated, not quantifiable. A bunch of woo woo bullshit. What we’re seeing is, as we’ve removed instinct and intuition from the process, there is a level of disconnection, dissociation and complete non-awareness with self that makes it impossible to set boundaries. How are you supposed to understand what boundaries are and why boundaries matter and how to actually put them in place if you are not even, first and foremostly, literate in the language of your body, mind, and soul? How is it possible to fight and assert for your personal space and for very much a moat or offense or something that you can put around you to energetically and emotionally sustain yourself if you don’t even know what you need because you don’t even know what the sound of what you need sounds like?
Each and every single one of us is hard-wired, spiritually programmed. I don’t care who it is you are, we are all like this. There is no such thing as a deficit in this arena. We all have this ability, and this compass, this inner knowing, this thing keeps us alive, sure, but also keeps us thriving, and you all know how I feel about that, and it actually helps us to be ninjas in a world that wants to keep us in line, want to keep us feeling insecure and crazy. It’s necessary to understand this. Think of your instinct and your intuition is like your subconscious, your higher consciousness, the Morse code that it uses to communicate vitally necessary messages to you. Imagine that the language, the love language, the secret, the siphoning, the everything that your higher consciousness is trying to send to you in that moment, is in a unique language that only you can understand.
There are actually a few steps that you need to run through before you can even think about the boundaries, because your higher conscious, how can it fucking explain to you how to take care of yourself and self-preserve if you’re hell-bent on self-destruction? Because you don’t even know what you’re inside sound like, because you’re scared to just shut the fuck up and listen to what your insides are saying. The first thing is actually, step one is, ‘Hear’, hear, hearing your instinct and intuition, and that is literally, you know when your parents would say, “Are your ears open? I’m talking to you.”? Imagine that’s what your higher conscious is saying to you right now. It’s there, and it’s either you muffle and you put your hands over you ears like, “No, no, no, I don’t hear that. I don’t hear that. What’s that?” Because you’re trying to compartmentalize, you’re trying to avoid it. You don’t want to feel crazy. Perhaps your grandmother was institutionalized for honoring their intuition. Who knows?
The point is, you need to literally lift the veil, lift the curtain, and hear what this is saying. Hear it, stop ignoring it, stop neglecting it. Stop calling it crazy. Give it a fucking stage and a spotlight, and let the damn thing be seen and heard, it’s important. If you cannot hear your instinct and intuition, who cares about what it says? Hear it. As in like, if my son is sitting right next to me and he’s saying something, and I am pretending that I don’t hear him because I’m too busy because I have shit to do, and he is repeatedly telling me things and I refuse to listen, and then an hour later, he has a full-on breakdown as a direct result of me not listening, and I get angry, whose fault is that? I need to be listening for the thing, the cue, the message before anything else can happen here.
Step two is, Learn The Language Of Your Insights. Your instinct and your intuition are speaking to you in code. It’s not just enough of hearing. It’s understanding that it is not only its own language, that it is not only its own dialect, but that you are uniquely responsible for learning how to translate, interpret, and everything is vital. Nobody else can teach you the language of your soul and your mind and your body and your needs and your desires. Nobody else. This is about learning the language of your insights. How to become literate in the landscape of your soul requires you to do, like any fricking espionage movie, is just sit there and listen. You’re hearing it.
Start journaling. What does it say? Is it codes? Is it visions? Perhaps you’re seeing symbols, perhaps it’s a color, perhaps it’s literal words. Perhaps it’s gut feelings. Just put them all down on paper and start to notice patterns. Start to look at the things that call you towards the right thing. Start to notice what is being told. Start to notice how your body is preempting, wording you, et cetera.
Over time, you will literally be able to decode this. You will be able to demystify every single one of these and actually become literate in the landscape of your soul, your desires, your fears, your needs, et cetera. The first step is, hear your instinct and your intuition.
Second is actually listening to the inside of you, calling to the messages, the words, the anything, and becoming literate in that language. Imagine that every relationship you create with yourself is the same as the relationships that you create with others, with your peers, your colleagues, your friends. How was the relationship with yourself any different to the relationship with anyone else?
Well, in fact, it’s more precarious because you become fragmented in an attempt to literally squash yourself, sensor yourself, survive et cetera, which means that you’re left in a situation where you’re picking up the Horcruxes like Voldermot and trying to scatter them everywhere so you can stay alive and stay immortal and not feel. Then you end up mother fucking Voldermot, and we know that shit didn’t serve him any purpose. You’re actually having to pick up all those pieces, bring them inside of yourself and recognize Jesus Christ, I have multiple personality disorder. Maybe that’s where the diagnosis came from, and that’s because the world made me feel like I needed to tear myself apart into a thousand different versions of myself before I could feel safe, and that’s cool, that’s totally fine. You’re are honoring it, you’re bringing it back in, but you need to understand that the relationship you have with yourself and everyone inside of you is key. The same level of nurturing, the same level of fostering, the same level of earning of trust, the same level of learning the love language of that person, every single thing.
The relationship you have with your kids, how you’re mothering yourself, parenting yourself. The relationship you have with your friends, how are you becoming your own best friend. These are all in the same way, and I want you to have that same approach, decode your core. Once you have become literate in that language, you can then start to notice the discernment between instinct and intuition. Instinct being something that’s quite carnal, instinct, visceral, physical. That is perhaps an example you’re walking down the streets with your children, you’re about to near your crosswalk, there are lights, and something inside of you says you should hold your child’s hand right now, or you shouldn’t cross the road just yet even though it says green and go, and you say that’s strange and you honor it, and you hold your child’s hand, and low and behold, 33 seconds later, a car zooms through that red light. Should you have walked, you would have both been hit. No explanation there, that is a level of instinct and intuition.
Another level of instinct is, when I gave birth to Ruby, I’ve no idea why I did this, but I actually put her nose in my mouth and I sucked like an animal as if to clear her airways. You’ll start to actually notice things. You’ll get a vision, that’s going to happen, there’s a bad thing that’s going to happen there, don’t do it. It’s very difficult sometimes to understand what instinct and intuition is, but how many of you have dishonored instinct and intuition, not listened to it and suffered as a result of it? That’s a great place to start. Notice how when you forgo instinct and intuition, or you ignore it, or you dethrone it, or you pretend that does not exist and you humiliate it and you don’t back it, how it bites you in the ass.
When you dethrone your instinct and your intuition from the castle that is you, your sovereignty, your bodily autonomy is gone. You become a puppet, you become a vessel. You might as well be a skin suit because your intuition and your instinct are the poles, they are the poles of humanity, and they are the poles of yourself actualization. It’s absolutely important for you to understand that that is everything. It is your blueprint, it’s the guide, it’s the instruction manual, it’s everything. It’s not just what keeps you safe, it’s what keeps you happy.
It’s not just what keeps you from being depleted, it’s actually what keeps you moving towards the things that energize you. When you dishonor and you dethrone or you neglect or you disregard the voices inside of you that are inherently there to protect you and love you and uplift you, what do you think happens? All of the bad things, shit hits the farm, and then you’re put in a position and you’re like, “Oh my God, I knew this was going to happen.” Remember what I said on the sermon that I just did a few days ago, we are obsessed with proving ourselves right.
Actually, one of the most faltering, obsessive, ridiculous, comically cruel parts of this is people actually ignore their instinct and intuition in order to self-sabotage and suffer on purpose, in order to prove themselves right, because there are more death said are remaining the victim and proving themselves right than going back, pulling it apart, deconstructing, listening to the instinct and intuition and being like okay, we got this, we’re working on this together, let’s prove this all wrong. That is so, so, so powerful, because they will help you to prove yourself wrong.
Serendipity, synchronicity, instinct, and intuition are all of the ways in which you and the universe dance together. This is massively important. The magnitude, the all of it is absolutely so profound that’s simply opening the eyes, lifting the veil and opening your fucking ears and going wow, what’s happening on the inside? What language, what soul, what lyricism, what poetry? What are you saying? What’s in your language? It’s absolutely beautiful, it’s romantic and it’s powerful, it’s empowering. Empowerment comes from instinct and intuition and being literate in everything it is that you are. It is knowing yourself better than anybody knows you. A me fucking body, anybody.
If we can teach people how to know themselves better than anybody else, the by-product is boundaries. The by-product is fighting for your right to exist and take up space and ask questions and be curious and say no, I know my body better than you know my body. I know my needs better than you know my needs. I know my desires better than you know my desires, and then there’s no more searching for validation or permission or anything, because you know, within yourself, that that is what you need, because you know yourself. If you strip back instinct and intuition from people, and all of a sudden you’re stuck with a skin suit and a body of strangers on the inside who speak a completely different language than you, there are no Google translate that’s going to fucking help you here people.
Then of course what’s happening is a disconnect that is so deep-seeded. You are looking for everybody around you to decipher, to decode, to make sense. What do I need? Who am I? No, it is destructive. Self destructive behavior, and it is what people in higher positions prey on. They want you to be illiterate in the language of your body, in your soul, in your mind, because then it’s easy. Let’s just throw a little bit of insecurity, a little bit of fear and a little bit of self doubt, and we can fucking make him do anything we want to do.
Boundaries are a by-product of being solidly anchored in who it is you are and what you are and what instinct and intuition require of you. How you listen to it, how you back it. Boundaries are the action that follow. It’s the by-product. If you know what your instincts and intuition need and are asking of you, and you’re eagerly complying because you are like, of course I believe you, you are me and I’m you, and this is what I need. Then anything else that follows is an action that’s simply conducive to sustaining that.
It’s like what Danielle says, open fucking heart, talk fucking sense. You know then, and the boundaries are simply just the mechanics of keeping yourself safe and excited and energized to continue honoring your instinct and intuition, which then leads to other, other, other things. This is vital. When I’m struggling to have conversations with people about boundaries, about people-pleasing, about martyrdom. I can almost always trace it back to when they fucking forgot how to listen and speak to themselves. It’s when I can trace it back to the moments that they were children and they were imaginative and curious and fluent.
Have you ever seen how quickly children learn languages? Have you seen the incredible things that they can do? When you were in that stage and you were growing, you were learning languages at intensely profound rates. This is why the brain, the insight, the creativity, it’s like yes, keep doing it until we don’t want you to do it. Then what happens is that we make you intentionally forget how to speak to yourself in order to pummel you into a state of submission and security and defeat, in order for you to grow up to stay in line and pay the taxes and just play with the status quo.
You need to go all the way back to that five, six, seven-year old self and exhume that body and reclaim that and bring back that playfulness back into your life, and bring back that enthusiasm back into your life, and stop convincing yourself that you can’t learn another language, and start believing that you can now, it is not too late, learn to become literate in the landscape of your soul. That would change your life. That eagerness, that elation, that excitement, that wanting, that yearning to know who it is you are is not just what colors you like, what music you like. I’m talking your insides under this.
Get off the x-ray goggles. Listen, give them names. I call my sixth sense Ms. Sixth. I characterize her. These are all things that have women and people institutionalized in the past. Hysteria, hysteric, the wandering womb. I could talk to you about the history of American psychiatry and all of the ways in which that we literally made mental illnesses out of instinct and intuition. Out of the ways, our body calls us to do things and our minds need us to do things, and why as, unfortunately, a result, boundaries no longer exist because we are here to serve everyone else before ourselves. We are here to know the language of everyone else before we know the language of us. My challenge for you today is to implement these things. Step one is, hear, hear the voices. Step two is, listen and learn. De-code, your core.
Then lastly, it’s going to be understanding that boundaries are simply a byproduct. They are not something that should be the action you’re trying to flounder about and make sense of. Now, if you’re stuck in martyrdom and people-pleasing and you’re not happy, don’t fucking think about that right now because you need to get to the other things first. Go backward. Stop looking for other people to give you the answers because you can only be responsible for you. It’s like writing a book, writing a book, the blood of your body, creating braille, creating words that only you can see literally this book that you need specific glasses to read that you have the glasses too, and you’re asking other people to decode it and make sense of it. How does that even make sense?
There are companies and institutions and governments that are literally profiting after your illiteracy of self. Fucking learn the language of you, and when you do, boundaries will just be the damn thing that happens as a result of you honoring the queen and kingdom and sovereignty of speaking the most lyrical, stunning language of the universe yours to enjoy. We need to be doing this inner work, every single one of us. It amplifies humanity. It amplifies everything that is compassion, connection, unity. This is a no brainer. Imagine if we each learned our unique language of self, what that would do to counters xenophobia and racism and all of the hate we see on different cultures and languages. Imagine what that would do if we would just honor the fact that we’re not all just robots who speak English, and we’re all fucking white and the best like fuck off. It would dismantle that all.
Let’s go back to a moment where your instinct and your intuition have told you to do something and you did not honor it, and then something bad happened as a result, which left you in a place of crisis control or damage control due to that nonlistening and that instinct and intuition. I just had this happen. When I had three clairvoyant downloads, I had three very strong intuitive pulses not to do something, but I was trying to do it for a multitude of reasons that then bit me in the ass. Me sitting within myself to unpack those feelings and being like, this is a lesson in listening to your instinct and intuition. This has happened to me multiple times.
I had a dream recently, like a month and a half ago, where it was the end of the world, and I was with my children in a home with 500 people who were trying to stay cool because it was boiling hot outside. That’s how people were dying. I had Ruby and Odin, and I was holding their hands, and then something said something bad’s going to happen, and then instead of staying with my kids, I walked to the outside of my house, and the dream ends with the world ending and me trying to get to my children and being pissed off that I didn’t listen to my intuition to staying with them. These are examples.
Knowing yourself is your energy. Sustainable self-care practices. What is my energy require of me? What kind of personality type do I have? What is my human design archetype? How can I work with my body and not against it? What leaves me feeling depleted? What leaves me feeling energized, and how do I honor that? Knowing myself so that everything feels good instead of everything feels bad. Knowing that I’m responsible for that and only I have the blueprint for that, is instinct and intuition.
One of the key lessons that I could teach here is that rest relaxation is actually a huge indicator and a marker where you are not listening to your instinct and intuition. This is how we get sick. This is how we burn out. This is all the repercussions that follow that lack of rest, and that comes from the inability to stop and slow down.
When I noticed that my children want to go, go, go when I notice that they’re not listening, I really try and kind of gently say, “Is your body calling you to rest right now? How can I help you support that? Is your body calling you to do this right now? How can I help you to support that?” Because rest and relaxation is a really, really great place and a marker to help them to start paying attention.
Thank you for listening to these messages. It really gives me hope that we can share this level of insight with each other, and move forward towards a paradigm where people are absolutely bursting.
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