Severing That Which Does Not Serve You

Posted by Angela Gallo on

How do you break up with the old version of you?
How do you let go of everything that doesn’t serve you?
How do you sever the umbilical cord to everything that you don’t wish to be a part of anymore?

Babe, there’s no quick fix. There’s no magic pill. Just burn it to the ground. Stop holding onto things that aren’t useful, productive or healthy. Sever that which does not serve you.

Today I speak straight to your soul, straight to the core of who you are, and tell you to wake the F*&K up.


Angel Phoenix Arsenal: Hey, sexy little things, it is me, Angel Phoenix Arsenal, previously known as Angela Gallo, and you are tuning into my podcast, Slaying the Status Quo in Total Fucking Style. Look, I'm all about breaking the rules to make your best work, and I'm all about breaking the rules to live your best life. This little audio sensory experience that I curated with my blood and my sweat and my tears, well, it is here to lift those of you up and celebrate. Those of you who are rebels with the cause, the cause of self-love, the cause of self-reverence, the cause of expression, authentic living in a world that wants you to be anything but yourself.

This is for those of you who make fashion out of "Fuck you, I'm going to do me." I am going to take you to the church of Angel. I will unleash the sermons. I will share my philosophies and my poetry. I will get you thinking outside the norms and other times, I'll be interviewing guests that will blow your actual mind to a place where you can meet the newest upgraded version of yourself. 

Buckle up, hold on to your panties. It's going to be one hell of a ride. 

Many people ask me, "Angela, how do you break up with the old version of you? How do you let go of everything that doesn't serve you? How do you sever the umbilical cord to all of these people and places and commitments that you have that you know you don't want to be a part of anymore? Why do you make it look so easy? What's the trick?"

It's a somber question and I guess a part of them is half expecting me to deliver this theatrical dramatic response and no, there's nothing dramatic or theatrical or somber about what I'm about to say, and that is, burn it to the fucking ground. Thank you. Next, it is actually that easy. What is funny is that we make reality TV shows about people who hoard furniture, hoard books, hoard the bodies of dead cats in their freezers, because they cannot let go because they are terrified of letting go. They're so terrified, they would rather clutter their life, their environment, everything around them than actually go inwards and ask themselves, "Why do I feel the need to surround myself with trash?"

You're doing the exact same thing by hoarding the inside of your skin, of your temple, with every version of you that no longer serves a purpose. If you had a wardrobe that contained every single garment that you've ever bought in your entire life, I mean there'd be like a ton of them that you don't fit into anymore, and some would be stained and others would be absolutely disgusting, and there'd be holes and you'd be like, "Oh God, thank God that style that didn't come back in," and "That was trendy then and that will never be a trend ever again."

Now, really use that same logic and bring it back to your life. We are cyclical creatures. Everything about us is in a state of perpetual change, of perpetual death and rebirth. To imagine that you can just collect those versions of you in a closet and carry them around for the rest of your life and bring them into every home you move into, every relationship that you form, every career you start, every project you dig into, is absolutely ridiculous. You cannot self-actualize if you are hoarding what does not serve you energetic, physically, mentally, spiritually. You need to let that shit go.

There is not an op shop, by the way, that you can just drop off these old versions of you at because the op shop, spoiler alert, does not accept stained, torn, tattered clothing. The op shop would reject the shit that you are insisting on carrying around. That? That's comical. It's comical because when I reframe it in a way that is metaphorical, you can see it. You can feel it in your bones like, "Oh fuck, I'm doing that thing again. Why?" When I say burn that shit to the ground, I mean it. We are in a society right now that is participating in some level of environmental-conscious conversation around, for example, sustainability and recycling and reusing and the long-term effects of X, Y, Z and that is fantastic.

This is the kind of scenario where you can not rinse, reuse, and recycle the parts of you that are fucking not-- Should not and should never be going into the future with you. There are certain things that you absolutely need to burn away, you need to bury, Chernobyl style, Hiroshima style. You need to take all of those nuclear reactors and bombs and messes that you made and versions of you that you made to survive, or to make a quick buck or to advance or to evolve under totally fucked up pretense, and get rid of it in any way that you need to get rid of it.

Yes, you need to laugh and yes, you need to cry and you absolutely need to blare, "Aryandes, thank you. Next," very loud and just be like, "Cool. Thank you for your service. Off we go. Great. Thank you for what you gave me at that moment in time. Amazing." The same thing with the relationships in your life or the jobs that you have or the commitments you've made or whatever the hell it is that you have stitched yourself to or changed yourself to, or the mind that you are imprisoned in. There is not one thing in your life right now that you cannot leave or let go or make better. Anything beyond that is something that you are making up in your head.

This is exactly what fears are. This is exactly what they are. They're things that we make up in our head that we hold on to, and that we will do everything to substantiate in order for us to be proven right. You need to understand that a lot of these fears are coming from expectations and false realities that we create because of the conversations that we have in our head with ourselves and the anxiety that comes from it. The ways we react to facts and to circumstances and, man, it's a fucking mess up there. It is a mess up there. When I say burn it to the ground, I am celebrating that fire, babe. I am celebrating the, "Finally," like the parent who looks at a kid and has been trying to tell them something for years, and that kid insists on learning on their own and that's great.

Then the kid does and the parent is like, "Fuck, yes. Finally." I'm not going to tell you, "I told you so." I'm not going to tell you, "I told you so." I'm going to tell you that if you do not let go of the things that you are hoarding, like the dead cats and the skeletons in your closet, in your freezer, somebody is going to call somebody on your ass, and that somebody is going to be me, and I'm going to rock up to your door, and we're going to have an intervention crisis moment, and you're not going to like that one bit. I really shouldn't be laughing about hoarding because it is a diagnosis, but hopefully, you get this metaphor.

I'm telling you this in total faith and in total trust because I know that your ability to grasp this concept and the definition of radical responsibility as it sits within you, to get to your goals and your objectives and the feeling that you want to embody in the future. I know that you know what you need to do inside of you, and I know that you know that a lot of that is a bunch of hard decisions. It's a bunch of saying no. It's a bunch of asserting boundaries that you've never actually asserted before, and you are shitting yourself because you're like, "Fuck, how do I take back a yes that has felt like a no for four decades of my life? How do I reel back in the permission that I've given people for four decades of my life?"

It is fucking hard. The longer you wait, the more you procrastinate, the harder it's going to be because that web of people-pleasing and martyrdom and excuse-making and putting yourself last, it gets thicker and denser until you are in a goddamn swampland of bugs and black widows the size of skyscrapers, and there is no turning back at that point. I'm here and I'm waiting and I cannot wait to see what you make of severing all of the things that do not serve you.

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If you have a body of work, a mission, a message that has been founded on the basis of being the lone wolf and persisting in a state of conviction and passion and self-belief and ruffling your feathers and breaking the rules and getting down with your bad self, well, I want to hear from you. Head on over to or simply look below in the show notes and there'll be a straight-up link for you to get me your information, get the world your inspiration.

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