We're turning a recent Instagram Live from the Phoenix's Nest into a podcast episode for your listening pleasure today.
Think about this. The antidote to using social media like an addiction in a way that is completely toxic, that is based in comparison, that is rooted in judgement and projection, is actually taking responsibility for the ways that you use social media.
Stop complaining about the people on social media and how they are using it. Instead, think about the ways that you can use it for good. To create impact. To show up responsibly. Don't be a creep. Don't be a hypocrite. Show up on social media. Use it for good, and stop thinking for a second that it's about you at all.
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Angel: I want to talk to you about the bullshit ways that we use social media and I want to talk to about how the antidote to using social media, like an addiction in a way that is just completely toxic, that is based in comparison, that is rooted in judgment and projection, is actually taking responsibility for the ways that you use social media. It is stop complaining about the people on this and how people are using it and instead, thinking about, "How can I use it in a way that has an impact that allows me to feel more rooted in my purpose and allows me to show up a lot more responsibly?"
When we look at social media use and the users, It is so fucking clear to me that there is a gross imbalance in how this whole platform operates and that is that 90% of you pathologically consume, 9% of you share what you consume and 1% create. 90% of people using social media are simply watching from a lurking standpoint. You're stalking, you're not engaging, you're not participating in conversations, you're very much just pathologically consuming. 9% of you are sharing. What you're doing is, you're reading, sometimes you will comment and you will share on a good day. The other 1% of you are actually creating content. 1% of social media users are actually creating content.
However, you will find that 90% of people using social media are complaining about social media, are buying into this toxic, feverish fucking conversation that's really polarising and really unhelpful. That is, that this is not the place to be, that this is not a tool for good, that this is a part of the problem, that people are addicted to their devices, that people are addicted to social media, but no one is actually looking deep within themselves and thinking, "Hold on a second. Before I blame fucking Kim Kardashian or before I blame people who are like the fucking chick with the green tea before I blame the thirst trap, before I blame this and before I blame that, why don't I really check within myself to ask myself how am I showing up responsibly on social media? How am I engaging in a way that's positive? How am I actually using the stigma social media to stay hidden, and to stay complicit in that toxicity without being accountable to myself and accountable to the world? How?"
These are huge, huge pillars into what is happening right now, seven billion-plus people counting. We have never been alive in a time where there's this much opportunity, this much technology available to us and we are all complaining about how disconnected we are. We're blaming social media, when the fact is, the world is different and you can either complain about how social media is holding you back, and keeping you out of the present and yadda, yadda, yadda, give me the small violin, or you can actually come in here and be like, "How am I actually using this? How am I making this something that I can milk for the benefit of myself and the benefit of others? How do I become part of the solution and not being part of the problem?"
Those who are part of the problem are the ones who are pathologically consuming. If you're sitting at home and you're complaining about porn and like the hyper-pornification or hyper-sexualization of everything, but you are literally pathologically consuming everything that is reality TV, or anything that you can fetishize from your place of addiction to struggle and suffering, you are literally pornifying society and blaming sex workers and people in the sex industry and adult entertainers for the ways of whatever the fuck it is you're doing and it doesn't make sense. There are serious conversations that need to be had about this and that is that, it's not your phone that's a problem, it's not social media that's a problem and it's not money that's a problem. You're the problem.
If we all approach this and did it enthusiastically and responsibly, then it would work. This would be the mutiny that we need to really revive a mission and a message that elevates humanity, that creates a collective conversation which subsequently insights change. You're all complaining about the world. You're all complaining about shit that's going wrong, but you are sitting on a gold mine of technological advancement and opportunity that could literally overturn every political system, every education system, every fucking thing that is wrong with the world, simply by using social media, but y'all are staying hidden.
You're happy to stalk and lurk like a bunch of sociopathic users. That's what I call them in my program, Visibility for Visionary Sociopathic Social Media Users. You all are acting like the little Ted Bundys of the internet and just engaging and being like, "I'm here in the comment section with popcorn to see shit go down." You're being complicit in bullying, you're watching these things happen, you're not interjecting, you're not having the conversations that matter, you don't want to be seen, you don't want to get on camera, you don't want to do anything, but you're complaining about the state of the world. How are you supposed to be in service to the world, if you cannot even be of service to yourself?
If you cannot see yourself, how are you going to let the world see you? If the world cannot see you, who the fuck do you think you are to find the audacity of complaining about what everybody else is doing, instead of looking in yourself right here, right now and saying, "What can I do right here right now, with what I have for free?" You're complaining about, "I need money for this. I can't start my business without the website. Oh my God, I need a social media strategist. What's the hack?" Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You highly intellectualise, highly conceptualise, you sabotage, you make a thousand excuses and you're doing the same thing over and over and over again and that is that you're afraid of being seen.
You're afraid of success and the responsibility that comes with that success and you're really afraid of loving yourself, completely, unapologetically and vigilantly and you're blaming social media and your phone and like all of this bullshit from your self righteous high horse and the highest stable, instead of really coming back down to reality and asking yourself, "Hold on a second. Is my business not working because I am not doing what it is I need to do?" Is it not because like, "Why does she have so many followers? Why is it working for them and I bet you it's just because they have tattoos or they have pink hair," or whatever other nonsense you're feeding yourself and all you're doing is stroking your cognitive distortion.
You are allowing yourself to stay addicted to that mentality. You're blaming everybody else but you. You want to be seen, but you want to be invisible. You want to have success, but you want somebody else to be at the face of that success. You want to create this change, but you don't want to be responsible for that change. You want the world to change, but you don't want to move past your keyboard. It just doesn't make any sense. I feel like if there's anything in the world for you to understand right now, is that there are more people with access to the internet than they do to food.
While y'all are complaining and being in this white saviour-ism, and watching your fucking charity commercials on Saturday morning, and believing that adopting these orangutang or doing this or doing that, and occasionally giving money is enough, the fact of the matter is that you're not feeding people's stomachs and you never will. We can complain about the 1% of the world that's so rich and doesn't give a fuck or what you can actually do is realise, "How do I get to the bellies and the fire and the vitality of all of these people if I can't feed them?"
Social media. Social media allows you to get to the souls and the bodies of people who need your light and who need your hope, and who need those conversations and need you to fight for them and need you to remind them what they need to fight for, before you fucking think about getting them a bag of rice. More people have access to social media and the internet than they do to food. The internet and social media penetration rate is upwards of 99% in places in the Middle East. 99%. We're talking about billions of people on the internet, in the poorest, underdeveloped areas possible, where they literally go in and give them social media, a phone, alcohol, and drugs. Catch you later. We take everything you own.
Stop complaining and trying to challenge the system from a place that's already established. Why not create a Trojan horse? Why not understand that everything you want to do and create is so much easier and so much closer than you even imagine and that is using social media? It just baffles me that everyone is complaining about activism. Everyone is claiming that their advocates. Everyone says they want to change the world and they're being so trendy, but when it actually comes down to showing up and taking radical responsibility for how it is you show up and how you're perceived and what conversations you have, you're all hiding. You're all hiding and why?
How easy is it for you right now to pop your phone on something and show up on live and just have a conversation? Instead of worrying about what you look like, what that other person is doing. Why are they rich? Why are they famous? Why can't I have that? Being addicted to this struggle, being addicted to this suffering, being addicted to this martyrdom, being addicted to the high horse, thinking that you're too cool for social media, thinking that you're so above those on social media. This is a conversation that needs to be had, because our generation has one thing available to us and that is social media. It's keeping us more connected than ever before. It's keeping us safer than ever before. It is literally allowing us to fucking reunite tribes and communities that have been separated for generations. We're bringing back languages and cultures that were extinct. We're reacting to natural disasters quicker than ever before. We're able to target things like fucking kidnapping, and amber alerts in ways that we could never do before.
We're dismantling banks. We're reinventing the economical climate. We're injecting everything into social fucking enterprise, and you're all complaining about things that don't even matter, because you just want to stay hidden. You are too tired, too bored, too lazy and have a head full of excuses to show up, and you blame everything else but yourself. It's really important to understand. It's like if I'm in my house and I leave the curtains open, and 10,000 people show up and just watch me outside of my window, only one person drops a casserole on the porch with a love letter. Then one of those people knocks on the door, that means that only two people out of those 10,000 people were not creepy.
If you just literally show up on the internet to watch and not participate, you're creepy as fuck. If you show up on people's comments sections just to comment and get angry at them, or throwing your two cents, or project your exhaustion, or whatever the fuck it is you want to do, or indulge your judgment, you are absolutely a creep. You are 100% a creep. Sociopathic social media use is literally when you're acting like the Ted Bundy of the internet. If you are trying to sell something, and you're not using social media and you're like,
"Angela, my social media sales feel sleazy." Yes, because social media use without soul is sleazy as fuck.
If you are not showing up and really having an intimate relationship with people, and showing them who it is you are, words, wonder, wildness and weirdness at all, you are literally conning people into purchasing things in a split moment. You focus on your pretty little Instagram grid. You're like, "That looks good, right? People are going to buy the stuff, right?" All you're doing is literally manipulating people into thinking that what you do is cute for five minutes, so that maybe they click. That's literally sociopathic. That's grooming people. Of course, it's going to feel gross. Your social media use feels gross because you're acting gross.
People do not believe people who show up in parts. Do you trust Voldemort? I don't, and that motherfucker has Horcruxes everywhere. Are you just a giant ball of Horcruxes? No. Who would trust a person in parts? You're a kaleidoscope. When you show up as the kaleidoscopic version of you on social media, you change the world in ways that you can't even imagine. Because you help people find the parts of themselves they have lost. You help them, reintegrate them, and then you help them level up and ask better questions, and ask better of the world. Create better for themselves.
When you show up in parts, you're a sleazebag. You're like the car salesman. You're just showing up in parts and it's gross. When you show up as all of you it feels good. There are no surprises. It's the ultimate freaking filter, and then people purchase because they know you, they believe you, they trust you and they want to back you. They're there for it. They're investing in you and your business. We can make all kinds of excuses. Easy for you to say, "Angela, you're selling a personal brand versus a product." That's the joke. You're lying to yourself because people will always buy you before they buy your product. You always are selling yourself before you sell anything else.
Are you staying addicted to the old infomercial business ways of our grandparents that are disgusting and gross? Or you're actually showing up, understanding that millennials spend money and they spent a lot of money, but they're spending money in places where they know the person, their family, their sorrow, their happiness, their grief, all of it. Because they're not just spending money on what the fuck it is you do. They're spending money on you. This is why social media is social enterprise in action, and if you're using social media, and you're not being social, you're a stalker. Would I trust a stalker? No. Would I collaborate with a stalker? No. Would I buy from a stalker? No.
Social media use without the “socialness” of it all is so creepy. It's not even funny. If you do not have a social media presence, I wouldn't date you, I wouldn't hire you and I would not work with you because this is what social proof means. The social proof in this is that when you shop on social media, it's the only place that I can safely substantiate who it is you say you are. If I do not see with my own eyes and my sixth sense that you are who it is you say you are, I will not interact with you anymore. In fact, every single person that I've hired was no social media has let me down, or confused me, or disappointed me, or totally screwed me.
When I use Tinder, I don't talk to anyone who doesn't have a social media profile. I look at them. I look at their comments. I look at their tagged comments or pictures. I go to their friends' pages. Then if I feel safe enough, I meet them. End of the story. This is about making social media safe by firstly looking at yourself, are you being safe or are you being creepy? It's about looking at sales, the consumer aspect of it, and the psychology of buying and being like, "Am I part of the problem here or am I participating in a way that makes sense?" If we're looking at bullying, what are you contributing to that is actually exacerbating the problem instead of making it better?
People, social media is not the problem. Social media isn't making people socially awkward or lessening their interpersonal skills. Your addiction to social media is what is causing the issue. Your use of it in a self-indulgent way is the issue. My selfies, they're not the problem. Your self-indulgence and your self-righteousness are absolutely the problem. If you find yourself scrolling obsessively, and you forget the time and you're obsessed with comparing, and you're wasting your time on the seat of your pants, looking at social media in a way that is completely destructive and distracting, you are part of the problem.
I literally do not go and comment on anyone's stuff unless I have something positive to say. I don't show up unless it is spontaneous and full of love and full of vigour. I don't perform. I don't play pretend. I show up here in whatever the fuck it is, wherever I am, and in light of Scorpio season, it's exactly why I'm here. Because I want to encourage each of you here to pull your head out of your ass, and you're fucking face that's buried in the sand. Come out and understand that we all have a public life, a private life, and a secret life, and that's Scorpio energy secret, everything that is buried there, that's your potential. That is where you are, your purpose. Everything it is that you are, it is right there.
It's important to understand that if we're going to change the world, and we have access to social media, but we can't send bags of rice everywhere, that is how you change the world with social media. Big conversations create change. Where do you have them? Social media. My demographic is 25 to 35-year-olds, they're on social media. 90% of people on Instagram are 25 to 35 years old. They're here for upwards to nine hours a day, nine hours a day. Where else can I get access to my people and my dream clients nine hours a day, in a way that's sustainable and feels good, and is spontaneous, and sexy? Here.
I am so grateful for social media. It has broadened my network, it has broadened some of the most special fucking people into my life, from all over the world. People that I work with who support me, who love me, who see me. Social media has allowed me to be seen by people who see me, and while you are so terrified about being seen, you're depriving yourself of opportunities for people who actually see you to see you. I tell everyone this, what would happen if Casper started looking for someone who didn't believe in ghosts to see him? What happens to the ghost who tries to find someone who doesn't believe in ghosts to see him? He haunts. He's sad. He's desperate.
Scorpio season, it's the only thing you have in Halloween. Nobody is seeing me. He's lamenting. He's lamenting, but do you know what he did? Casper found Christina Ricci, who saw him, who loved him, and she intermittently brought him back to life. You need to stop focusing on being seen by people who don't fucking see you, and realise that social media is the lottery of being seen. It's finding the people who see you, so you can come back to life, so you can remember how to love yourself and you can show people how to love themselves.
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Angel: Nobody can force you to feel pressured. Nobody can force you to feel sad. Nobody can force you to feel small. Nobody can force you to feel victimised. Nobody can force you to squash yourself. Nobody. Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody. They'll make you feel like it for fucking sure and it's devastating but nobody can do that. Ultimately, you're in charge of your thoughts and you curate them. You are the maestro. That is the orchestra. The song that follows is your responsibility. All you have to do is find out what pisses you off and find out what makes you feel creatively alive and you will birth your art and your creativity into the world and the pressure, that will turn you on.
The pressure will be like, "Let's play check-in motherfucker." The pressure is going to be like, "Listen, I'm about to spontaneously combust and I'm going to burn you so here are your heads up, you either escape--" You know like in Las Vegas in Nevada when they use to do a nuclear bomb testings and they have to do the thing and everyone have two minutes to leave or they get-- Do that. Get louder than you've ever gotten. Give people the warning and the heads up and if they get burned, even after you've warned them, sayonara fuckers. That's it.
The world is going cold. It's an emergency to bring the fire back to who it is you are and that starts in the belly. What pisses you off? What turns you on? Do the damn thing. This is an emergency and if you do not focus on using social media to be seen by the people who see you, you too will turn to a ghost, who laments and haunts the world wondering what went wrong. I should have done this, I could have done this, I would have done this and all along, you are sitting on every opportunity humanly possible to be exactly who it is you want to be and be celebrated in that version of you.
If you feel like shit, it's because your body knows that there's something that is misaligned. We can't complain that we're getting killed and murdered and raped and victimised and taken advantage of, pummelled and suppress if we can't even see ourselves. If you can't see yourself if you can't show up on social media, how is the world going to keep you safe? It doesn't make any sense. This is like a gift so important that everyone understands that what we have available to us right now and how it's going to change the world but you need to get the fuck out of your head and realise that every moment you stop yourself from using social media in a way that's exciting and exhilarating and responsible and totally out in a way that's alchemists. Holy majoly. What happens after that?
If you said, "I feel like I stay too impersonal not sharing my children's names and faces but I also want to respect their privacy". Why are your children your identity? Why is not sharing their faces stopping you from showing up as you? Your children are not the reason that you're showing up as the impersonal version of you. Who are you besides your children? That's the person. Why do you need to be sharing your children? Then they become a scapegoat. "I'm not showing up on social media because of my children." That's a lie. A lot of people say that it's not. Children are the perfect ruse as to why we're unhappy and we're in the martyr world and we're busy and we don't do things, we blame our kids.
The fact is that you can still show up and you can blur out their faces if that is your life, power to you but there are ways to still keep them anonymous. It's not a reason not to show up though. Imagine as well that like every time you don't show up, your dream clients or an audience or a person who needed to hear your message dies. You said, "You make me feel like social media is the platform to freedom." Social media gave me my freedom. This is what I teach. When my book comes out and all that kind of stuff, radical resurgence, it is literally all about self, S-E-L-F, and that is being seen being expressed really living like not bullshit living, really living and liberated and being free from your fears by giving free rein to your fears.
Social media is the perfect rein to make that happen. You can play with all of that. This is where your expression comes to life. If you allow yourself to express yourself here and be seen, you will feel free. Mark my words and you free other people in the process. It's as easy as that. It's as easy as that. What happens when the battery dies? Big picture I mean, if the internet goes awry in a way, how can we not do this on social? Why are you going future? Why are you thinking about an apocalyptic world? Why do we use a future that hasn't even happen? That hasn't happened that we don't even know will happen that hasn't been substantiated, where anxieties come from to stop us from taking action right now? Why? That's what Erika says, "Why are you going future?" What's the point?
Then that's even more of an emergency because if we only have, let's say, 12 months before the internet disappears, this is completely theoretical, then that's an even more emergency. It's making sure that as many people as humanly possible get changed and impacted and influenced and loved before shit goes down. That's even more of an emergency for me. Besides, was there a point when you're terrified to be seen and if so how did you overcome it? Up to a year and a half ago, two years ago, I wouldn't even smile with my mouth open. If I laughed, I would cover my mouth. I'm not even kidding you.
Literally, because of my teeth, they're crooked at the bottom. I didn't even want to come on Instagram. My best friend Tess is the one who was like, "You need to go on Instagram. You need to go on Instagram." I was like, "I'm too cool for Instagram," blah, blah, blah. All those bullshit things that everybody says. I did the same thing that all of you are doing, I did at some point in the past. How I overcame it was simple. If you are a lighthouse and the only way that you can save someone's life is by turning on the lights and being seen, when you do not do those things, the people looking for the lighthouse die.
When I don't take action, I'm stroking an ego that is indulgent in cognitive distortion, who makes excuses not to show up by saying that "It's not perfect enough yet. I'm not ready," blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There are people who are waiting for you to grab your fucking pants by the balls and be like, "Let's do it." How I overcome it is that this is bigger than me. Therefore, I'm not a part of this. My insecurity has nothing to do with the impact that is intended. If I have a brief intermission moment of feeling insecure, I literally just tell myself, I coach myself, "This isn't about you. Bang, let's do it." It's not. Nothing can get in the way.
Nothing can get in the way of however it is I am supposed to show up. Nothing. China you said, "Maria, I unfollowed and blocked anyone that stopped me from sharing my life." They're not your people. A huge, huge, huge thing that I teach Visibility for Visionaries which is my online program, is that you have to create safe containers, and that is blocking and deleting anybody who makes you feel unsafe and understanding that this is unbelievably critical because if your head is your house, and you're just letting anybody in with no bouncer at the door, and then you're upset, as Erika says, when they trash your house or eat your food or change the music, who's responsible for that?
You don't owe anybody anything. This is your house. You get to decide. Keras said, "As a businesswoman in a country where people aren't forward-thinking or doubt your power in a business sense because of the way you present yourself on social media, I'm scared to be 100% yourself." Keras, my love so happy you're coming to the retreat, by the way, but who cares? That's just another excuse, ask a better question. I literally went into doula work where I was heavily tattooed. I looked nothing like the medical system. I had pink hair. I was so worried that nobody would want to work with me, nobody would take me seriously.
I was afraid of having opinions because of how deluded and cuckolded that industry is. I had every single reason not to show up. I am doing this work right now and getting uncomfortable so that I can create freedom for everyone who comes next. This isn't about a country or politics or culture or anything other than what is happening, what is at play? What do you need to do? How about if your purpose is totally okay with being scared and being in a space of mind that is I have a willingness to be wrong about everything. I have a willingness to admit that actually, nobody's imprisoning me but myself right now.
I have a willingness to understand that my greatest work and my potential is on the other side of I think that I have it all figured out. I'm stopping myself because the culture is to blame, my tradition is to blame, the disparities are to blame, the climate is to blame. It's none of that. You just show up if that's all you need to do. You show up as you, being and that's how we change policy, that's how we change culture. That's how we change everything by having a conversation with ourselves, and then having that conversation with the world even when it's scary. That's it.
I just did a little speaking session at the Auto-awakening retreat yesterday on visibility. I really honestly believe that the way that we're going to change the world is self-love, self-ownership, and self-actualisation, that can only happen when we have a sense of self, which can only happen when we have a hold of our six senses. The only way to do that is knowing, seeing, loving ourselves, knowing ourselves, the rest follows. If I could tell everyone here how hard it was for me to be seen in so many aspects of my life, particularly just as a mother.
You need to understand too if you're feeling confronted by this conversation, it's normal because we are told that wearing masks after mask, after mask is the way we survive and find love and fit in and all of those things. We put a mask on a baby as soon as it's born. That baby is born from a body of lies into a bed of lies and then it learns that those lies are truths. Then, it has to operate its whole life hiding despite its body saying something's not right here, something doesn't make sense, something doesn't make sense.
It's the whole reason I wrote the book because as a highly sensitive, clairsentient and clairaudient and clairvoyant child, I was like, "Why the fuck is everybody lying to themselves? Why are they lying to me? What's the point?" Then, you realise it's these masks. Birth is the first place I noticed what it is when someone doesn't have a mask. There's a brief moment where that person has a baby and that baby comes out and you see this bridge, this parallel of that woman or birthing person's true face and that baby's face before the world fucking takes it away. In that one moment of complete power, of complete leading into the edges, it's the most honest expression of that person.
We only see it in birth and we only see it in climax, true climax, orgasm, intimacy, and death. We've sterilised every one of those opportunities. All of us are walking and bouncing around with a bunch of masks on. We don't know ourselves. We don't know other people, and therefore, learning how to be seen, seeing ourselves so the world can see us is horrifying because you have to rip 1,000 masks off your face. That's the part that's confronting, it's not me. It's you're realising of, "Fuck, fuck, dammit, dammit. There's another mask again. I thought I worked through that." That's the feeling.
It feels so gross and so horrifying and so embarrassing, but once you work it out, the freedom that you will find in simply being who it is you are at any other moment of any other day, it's just out of control. Why does everyone want to wear the same mask? Because the status quo tells us that if you are compliant, you will stay safe. If you are compliant, and stay under the radar and don't ask questions and pay the taxes and be the good girl you'll be loved and you'll be rewarded with the domestic reward of all the things. We're conditioned to believe that and then we say our mothers fucking modelled this was our whole life.
I wrote a poem and it was literally about that. You can find it in my IGTV. That's like my grandmother and my grandmother and my grandmother, their legacy was a fucking box of masks that they sold to me like dodgy car salesmen. All they were doing was giving me what was given to them until you're like, "You know what, I'm breaking the cycle. I'm not participating in this anymore. I don't want to give my children masks. I want them to know me for who it is I am by showing up as the boldest brazen expression of who I am with them so that they have an opportunity to truly know themselves."
You think you love your children, you do. You think that you're keeping them alive and healthy by changing their diapers and feeding them and keeping a roof over their head. That is not what motherhood is about. That is martyrdom. That is martyrdom in a cloak of misogyny and masks. motherhood is understanding how do I rip the masks off my fucking face so that my children have an opportunity to fall in love with me because they choose me. The real me not because I forced them to not because I'm the adult, not because I decide, that because I birthed you, you have to respect me. This is so multi-dimensional and multi-layered.
I get it, it's confronting but once you actually apply yourself to it, the magic that transpires, the people you pull into your life, the opportunities you create for yourself, it's just unbelievable. My kids are the reason I'm doing this. I owe them, I owe them. I owe my kids everything because they ripped those masks off my face. While everyone here is so convinced that they have to control the kids' crying, and their children are minions and their little treasures that like, "I'm going to create this nursery and I'm going to buy my kids all these cute clothes, but I don't want them to sleep or fucking speak or do anything unless I okay it and I control it."
Then, you're the drill sergeant and your kids are little minion soldiers and they're these tokenistic objectives of how we romanticise and fetishise children. While it's cute, and it's what to expect when you're expecting- I'm writing about this in my book, by the way, The Doula Of You, until they actually are leaning into their real self, their expression, then it's like, "No, no, no." No, I owe my kids because I listened to what was happening. Instead of reacting to everything they challenged me with, I was like, "Wait a second. What are they trying to teach me here? What's the lesson? What's the gift?" It was the fact that your children you may think they're children, they're not.
They are the birthed manifested into reality of everything that you have not processed, everything you have not dealt with, everything you have not shifted, everything you have not moved, everything you have not become. Children are mother nature's way of basically clearing your system so that you can birth a seed that becomes your potential, but you must nourish it and see it and respect it and get down on that soil, and get that dirt under your fingernails and care for it so that it can care for you. We have it all fucked up, man. It has nothing to do with that.
I owe my kids because they taught me what it means to come undone. Therefore, the responsibility I have is to show them what it means to fight for your expression. What it means to actually show up and allow my kids to be exactly who it is they want to be, by first becoming who it is I want to be and understanding that they're sentient creatures. They're humans with an emotional landscape. They are not fucking objects that we are this cute, multi-billion dollar industry fertility, infertility, car seats, fucking nurseries, they are gifts and they clear the hedges if we allow them and they are the ultimate expression of us.
That's why they piss us off because they show us how we show up in the world and they confront our lies, and they command our truths and that pisses us off. Boy, does it piss us off? We have an opportunity to get angry. Fucking ego comes out, our obsession with control, with time, with everything. Then, when our kids grow up, it's like, "I miss my baby. It goes too fast." No, no, what you're actually grieving it's not your baby you're grieving, you're grieving the opportunity that you had, fleeting moments to create intimacy with a little human.
That was your only moment to really know yourself and really feel yourself and really love yourself and really see yourself. That was your opportunity and you fucked it up, and you missed it. That's what you're grieving. That's literally what you're pissed off about and that sucks. That sucks. It really, really does. That's why I'm making sure that if I die tomorrow my kids know what it is I want them to know about me, which is everything. They have a whole catalogue of everything that is humanly possible so they know my expression. We have all the conversations and I don't squash them. I make sure that they have a safe place to be themselves and all of that. This is the work. This is philosophy and motion. This is poetry. This is passion. It is fury. It's a reclamation of everything. It's how I use my school of thought and everything that I'm feeling in my body, as it marries my mind to then birth, how do we move humanity and particularly mothers and parents from survival mode to revival?
The revival of the senses then to superhero. Superhero mode. How do I do that? It's fucking clear in my mind. Of course, it pisses people off, but has nothing to do with me. It has nothing to do with me and people aren't pissed off at me and that's how I know. This is just borrowed time. What we fucked up in one generation we have to fix in one generation. Do we just sit on our ass and do nothing or do we use what's available to us? Which is social media. Do we complain and talk about how children are taking selfies at such a young age? "My children are way too sexual. My child is wearing a crop top."
Do we just have the conversations that literally do not fucking matter or do we do something about it? Do we complain about social media? At the same time, the person who's complaining about the hyper-sexualization of little girls on social media is the person who doesn't give a fuck about child sex trafficking happening in major cities. This is the confronting aspect of it. It's like listen to me, social media can fix everything, how you use it, how you're responsible, how you're ambitious with it, that is a determinant. My children are included in all of this.
My daughter knows what Instagram is. My daughter knows what I'm talking to people on here. My son knows what I'm talking to people on here. My daughter comes with me to my workshops. She understands the urgency of this work. This is important work, people. Important work. You might think that this is just about showing up for shits and giggles to get likes. Fucking no. The only thing I want to see like bling bling bling is my karmic account balance. Because I don't want to leave my children in debt.
How about money,? Who cares about that? I don't want to leave them with a karmic account balance that's dead underpaid, and then my legacy becomes all the shit that they need to heal and the cycles that they need to break because I was a lazy motherfucker. I was scared or I made excuses. We birth the untapped potential, the potential we didn't move into, and we literally give it to our children. We birth them, and then we're able to nourish them. It's sensational. It's sensational. How do you bring humanity back to the human experience? Stop having boring conversations. Stop believing that life is about all this stuff. It's not.
It's about so much more than this. This is why I have a really, really hard time with activism and advocacy on social media. I really feel like it's my responsibility to understand that this is not about social media, its visibility for visionaries. There are horrific things happening everywhere all the time. All the time, not just America. All the time. How do we change things? How do we change things? We show up here. Why don't people show up? Because they know that they're scared and they're fucking hypocrites. I say this all the time, I can deal with the bad people, no worries. I can deal with the good people, no worries, but I can't deal with the hypocrites.
They've got their dick in one end of the door, and they've got their dick on the other side of the door, and they can't choose between right and left. The person who's getting angry, for example, about the atrocity of everything that is Latin American and South American children in these detention centres and immigrant detention centres and et cetera, et cetera are the same people who are literally fucking going into Mexican restaurants, and totally cool-cultural appropriating the food. Then also, on the other hand, going on holidays there where people are paid $3 an hour. There's a lot of incongruences in all of this, which is that the hypocritical double-ended dildo. That's exactly right.
People hide because they know that if they show up, their hypocrisy will absolutely be called out. Those are the kinds of people who are usually hyper-aggressive about their activism, hyper-aggressive because they're like super defensive. They know there's something that's hypocritical, or on the other side, it's like the highly sensitive highly performative, the self-righteousness of everything that is on that end. That is just disastrous. Where it's like, you know what, do something or shut up, just pick a side.
I went into a breathwork session with Lucas and Hallie a few months ago and I didn't have any expectation for that journey. I sat down right away. What came into my head was, am I strong enough to actually hold the grief of the world and do this work because sometimes it feels like I'm not. I'm like, "How do I do this?" It's like fucked up. There's so much fucked up stuff from a philosophical principle school of thought perspective, that is so baseline that we can't even imagine. The baseline issues are not even fucking discussed. Which is people loving themselves, so that they can love other people.
Showing up for themselves so that they can show for other people. Being called out on their bullshit, having more meaningful conversations. It's just so interesting to me to be on this side, and also devastating sometimes, because I'm like, "I don't know if I can do this." I went into this beautiful breathwork journey. I do these often. I'm sad, I'm worried that I don't have what it takes. I'm sad that I can't deal with this. I'm sad that it's too much. I'm sad that it's too complicated." The whole journey was me, leaving my body to go somewhere to harvest light and to bring it back into my body, and constantly moving this light in me.
It was clear as fucking day that the message was that if I'm connected to source and source is infinite, all of the resources I need will be provided by extension in an infinite form.
My duty is to show up and be connected to source. If I keep doing that, I have the energy and I have the light and I have the availability to talk about things even when it feels like banging my head against the wall. Or even when it feels like, "How are people not seeing this?" It's just something that I need to do right now. I need to be cool with pissing people off. The easy thing for me to do right now seriously would be, go make my bank somewhere else and get paid a shit ton of money, not asking questions.
It's not what I'm going to do. I'm going to hustle for humanity, #hustle for humanity. It's an honour and it's a privilege and it is with great capacity comes great responsibility. It is what it is. If I want to be doing what it is I want to do, I need to be okay with it being really intense and the responsibility is really intense.
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