Waking Up, It Hurts But It's Our Responsibility

Posted by Angela Gallo on

Coming off of the back of a huge number of trainings and workshops recently, I found myself sitting in a bath and feeling it was necessary to jump onto Instagram live. I needed to get a few very important things off of my chest.

I wanted to discuss some of the most ridiculous comments that have come through on a video I posted. I was doing some embodied dancing after an amazing healing session and workshop. Dancing the sadness and the grief out of myself after moving huge emotions out of my body. We had been discussing the medicine that is movement, and how necessary it was for me to embody the "f*ck off" part of my personality.

Then I received these comments, and they could not have come at a better time.

This is an unapologetic, non-censored conversation about how broken this system is. There are a lot of curse words in here, so heads up.

I encourage you to sit with these emotions. Sit with these words, and allow yourself to question everything.

— FULL TRANSCRIPT —

Angel: It's like I'm in a bath but I did want to make sure that I came on to just say what I needed to say and rage where I need to rage. It has been such an incredible week. This is like my fifth or sixth event and I don't know what time is it? I don't even know. What time is it with my name? It's been great and there's just been one sensational thing that has happened after the next. I wanted to discuss some of the most ridiculously fucked up comments that have come through on the video of me dancing and address those in the bottom. Hence why there's going to be lots of curse words here, this is going to be an unapologetic, non-censored conversation about how fucked up some people are. Fucked up.

I basically posted a video of myself doing some embody dancing after an amazing healing session and workshop where I had a shirt and I had my bathing suit bottoms - my bathing suit Playboy bottoms and a white shirt. I was dancing the sadness out of myself and the grief out of myself after moving huge fucking emotions through my body with an audience. It's discussing the medicine that is movement and the vitriol that came on to that video couldn't have come at a better time following the amazing Peter who is here today, Peter Kelly, who did a workshop for my students where we were just discussing how critically necessary is for me to embody the “fuck-off” of my personality.

I've been censoring this part of myself for so long and every time I think that I've worked through my good girl sensitivities or my desperate desire to not upset anybody, not make anyone feel uncomfortable, it really really really rears it's head in moments like that where I find myself censoring my anger, censoring how I defend myself, censoring what I really want to say, censoring the savageness of what my heart is screaming at me to say and I'm just not going to do it anymore, I'm not doing it anymore.

I was told that I'm akin to a man saying that he has had and conceived his babies by stroking his dick in public and that dancing and having a child in sexuality is filth and that I should be put in handcuffs and that I should be put in jail for saying things like that. I've got several comments about a baby being in the same space - a baby. We are okay with sex to make a baby. Fucking hell, don't let a baby be in the same space as a woman dancing. Oh my God. That baby might catch a sin. He might catch a cold that will send him to hell. Honestly, fuck you.

I'm not going to allow myself any longer to let anybody on this page believe that I am not a person who can get angry and that I am not a person who can defend myself because I have a public profile and a business profile. In fact, the mission of my work is authenticity. It is dismantling every system that exists by encouraging people to know themselves, know the language of themselves, be articulate, be literate in self-love, in self-ownership, in self-actualisation.

I am literally living in a constant state of reverse engineering of how we have destroyed women and their bodies and how we've literary decimated wombs much like any animal about to go extinct and here I am still finding that within myself I am censoring my anger when somebody comes at me or my integrity as a mother or as a human or as a business owner. Why can't I just say, "Fuck you"? Why not? Why is it? What is stopping me? Who made the rules? So breastfeeding is okay, but do not dance in front of your baby.

Sex to make a baby is okay, but don't you dare have sex afterwards and it’s imperative that everybody understands right now that the world as we know it, is if you have a womb or a pussy, if you are someone who doesn't have a dick and is not a fucking White man, we are in a place where we're continuously being tossed between the Madonna and the whore, constantly. We are continuously striving to be the fucking immaculate conception and this holy version of motherhood whilst trying to avoid being the whore.

It's really really really fucking imperative that everybody understands here that the ways that we continuously shame sexuality, the ways we insist on making spirituality and sexuality secular, oppositions of each other instead of realising that the word religion is religare. This literally means to bind up and to make whole. To take all parts and to make them whole. To bring them back to the whole. Religare had nothing to do with man-made religion. Religare was about seeing your parts, watching them as they're disintegrated or unintegrated and bringing them back into who it is we are.

The actual meaning of secular and profane came from the parts of you living in parts and not living in the whole or in the oneness. Your whole and your oneness is where the word sacred really came from. Sacredness is not a sacred word, sacred this, sacred that, trendy, no. Sacredness is the act of wholeness, the wholeness which is the ecstasies, the intended state of ecstasy as humans and we are so fucked up and our world is so fucked up that we've stopped living in our body and stopped living in our heads as a means to survive. We have literary moved from being alive, feeling alive in our oneness and our wholeness in our body to living in our head as a means to survive.

Our body is so intelligent and so desperate that it has evolutionarily moved forward into a place where we don't need our body, we only need our mind and we know this is not the truth. When we live in the mind and we're separate from the six senses of our body as they are intended to be used, we are in the prison of our mind, we hold our fucking self hostage from what it is we could be. We hold our potential hostage from where it is supposed to be. When you are living in unison with your body in the six senses as they were intended to be experienced, you're living in the playground of your body. You're living in yourself, your wholeness and how it’s intended to live.

You are not meant to sever the parts of you that make you feel alive. It is not possible to have conversations about depression and anxiety and infanticide and suicide and all other things that are literary killing us while insisting that we sever the parts of ourselves. The definition of depression is the removal of the soul from the body. If you were literary telling the people who are birthing our children into the world that in order to be good and be accepted and be loved and be cared for, they have to be cut up into little fucking pieces, you are then telling the children born from them by extension to never be whole, to never know whole, to only strive to be holy which requires you to be in parts.

If you were to remove yourself from sin, if you were to remove yourself from anything that makes you unholy, this is bullshit. All of it is bullshit. The original religare, which is religion on the world, this is community it's how people worked together, lived and loved together. This is not an attack against men because men are not bad people. The world has made this world fucked up and binary and linear and brutal and violent.

We're literary removing the soul from people and this planet and as a result, we are a bunch of caged animals who are doing terrible things in a desperate bid to feel alive. Originally, women would make clay, work with fire, plant the seed, birth children and it is in the reflections of themselves, in the projection of their own faces that original religion was created where art and the music and life and beauty and everything love and everything after deity and everything was born from what? The way we saw ourselves first.

Everything that is sacred was born originally from the reflection of woman and her reflections on that reflection. It's the way we literary are miniature bite-sized versions of the cosmos. It is impossible to try and substantiate anything that I know is a lie. That everything I'm continuously trying to reverse the trauma for, that people are buying into and calling it religion and calling it the truth. Science used to be the truth. When science kept being disproved, we told you it was a sin. We told you it was the truth. We told you God told you that and that's the truth. There's no arguing with that truth.

When you can't argue with science anymore, well, then there's God and you can't argue with Him. This world wants to be right. It's obsessed with being right and it has absolutely no interest in being wrong. Every single system that we're living on right now was built on the bones of our babies and built on the bones of every single fucking mother that we have killed to build what we have now.

Every woman or person who asked questions, who made decisions for themselves, who chosen having identity and expression and being, feeling alive over feeling suck, was killed. You either said yes, and you fell in line or you faced the repercussions. Every single thing we know today, every fucking single thing we know is a lie that is meant to keep us operating on a conveyor belt experience. Nothing was supposed to feel this bad, nothing.

There is not supposed to be this much illness. If our natural intended status is excesses, and we are all depressed at the rate that we are depressed, let me tell you, there's a reason that people take ecstasy and MDMA at the rate that they do. We are hollow. We are disassociated and disembodied from our natural state and so we're looking for drugs to make us feel alive. We're looking for things to make us feel connected to other people. We're fucking desperate for it. We're blaming money, and we're blaming social media and that's all a lie. We keep you distracted with conversations here so we stop asking people there to do better.

We are supposed to be operating and being and living this experience in a completely different way. Technology is not the issue. Money is not the issue. The issue is every single system that was literally created on the backs of racism, on the back of misogyny, on the back of sexism. There is absolutely no way that you can tell me that it's 2019 and whether it's the police, the government, whether it is the church, whether it is anybody who's doctor or in authority, we are trusting all of these people who we know the foundations and pillars of every one of these systems is corrupt.

Sexual abuse, things that we can't even begin to believe and we still trust them. Nobody asks questions. Everyone just keeps saying, "Yes, okay, off we go with the show." Why? Why is it so hard for us to believe that this doesn't make sense? We are so obsessed with being right and we're so allergic to change, and we're so addicted to our struggles and our suffering and comfort that we're willing to burn this whole fucking planet down to the ground, take our mothers with us, take our kids with us to what? Prove what point exactly?

Please, I'm going to really encourage you to sit with this conversation and let it confront you. Know and understand what told you that that is the truth. How can you believe in something that is inherently racist? How can you believe in something that literally chops and changes itself according to the agenda? How can there be 9000 languages on this planet and these many people and somehow, it's a white guy who knows the truth? How is it possible that everybody knows the Bible as history and the truth but nobody knows earth goddess, earth mother that made in the mother in the chrome.

Why was the original medicine of self and of nature turned into witchcraft? You don't think that's convenient? You do not think it's convenient that everything that once was and operated in peace is now separated intentionally? Now we're made to hate each other. We're made to be scared of other women and women are the catty bitches and the bad guys. We're always waiting for men to rescue us. We're codependent, we're unfulfilled, we're making babies. There is something wrong here. Surely, there's somebody else who's asking these fucking questions. There is nothing about the systems that are working right now that is working for us.

Nothing, except giving you an illusion of comfort, giving you an illusion of security. There is nothing about religion and I'm talking about what religion is intended to be - the binding up of brokenness. Religion that is now counts on you to be broken, insecure and desperately fearful so that you don't ask any questions and you cough up the cash and you stay compliant. There is not one system in the world that gives a fuck about you, your needs, your love, your lights, your long-term existence, none of it. It is literally created for you to feel like shit so you keep saying yes, that's it.

I know I'm not the only one thinking this because I'm fucking training hundreds of people. Everyone is asking the same questions. Sooner or later, distracting ourselves with baseline issues and baseline conversations that are boring as fuck because they're so monotonous and bullshit, it's going to break and we're going to need to start having conversations that require us to make bold moves and put our money where our mouth is.

This is to stop caring about things when it feels okay about being cared like thinking about this. There is literally nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing that will stop me from having this conversation. Everyone watches The Handmaid's Tale. and what you don't understand is that is going on right now. Now, every day, every fucking day all over the world The Handmaid's Tale is already happening and you all are buying into it.

You're worried about a future where we can't have babies? The fertility industry is worth $36.2 billion and it works hand in hand with the contraception industry, which is worth over 16 billion. You pay to be infertile your whole life as an act of feminism, and then you fucking mortgage your house to buy that fertility back. We're running through a conveyor belt, we're running through a factory setting and you are fucked up as a result of it. Our families are broken, our kids are broken. We don't know how to love. Our empathy deficits are through the roof.

Of course, we're still working on baseline issues. We're calling the murder of animals ethical. We're calling the destruction and abuse and rape of women and burning people and babies in the birth space as continuity of care. We literally use language that strokes our ego and keeps us feeling not guilty and keeps us moving along and you're buying into it. Ask better questions because this is not okay. The ways that we are storing grief and trauma, the ways that we are literally annihilated, decimated, bludgeoned into the fucking ground, where instinct and intuition, the two sentinels responsible for keeping us safe.

Peter said today, 90% of the work you do is learning what the sound of your intuition is and how to work with it. 90% of what you do. The hardest work you do, because the world forces you to forget who you are, and it forces you to forget what your insights sound like. It forces you to no longer trust yourself. It tells you that you have voices in your head. It threatens you by saying that you're unfit to have your children or care for your children, that you're unlovable, that you're lucky to be loved, you're lucky to be cared for. If you do anything wrong, we take away your kids, we close your businesses. We don't give you money. We fuck up your life.

Every single system in place right now does not exist to keep us safe and to love us and to honour us. Every single thing that is the fact that my body can bridge life and death. How is it for thousands of years on this planet everything sacred and spiritual was in the blood mysteries of how we birthed, and how he died, how we made love how we found intimacy, how we cared for each other? Now, we make you think you're disgusting. Your blood is disgusting. Your birth is dramatic. It's traumatic. It's disgusting. You need us to save you. You need us to fix you. You need us to fix your issues, you need us. We don't even know how to die with dignity. We don't even know how to die consciously.

We've taken the most human experiences left to live and we have diluted them and diminished them until they are literally consumable packaged processed, at your convenience, drive-through junk food experiences. That's what we do and we're all paying for it because we are so scared of feeling, we are still scared of pain. We are so dead-set on chasing immortality as the ultimate advancement that we're willing to trade everything to get there.

We are willing to become robots who feel nothing and for what? What is the point of living if you aren't even living? What is the point of breathing, if you don't even know what it means to feel alive? What's the point? How have we gotten to a place where we literally dishonour and murder and abuse the people who are birthing our children? We birth the children who kill us. Do you understand that? Do you know how it feels to birth babies who grow up to either be killed or kill? Do you understand what it means to love someone and not know whether they're going to grow up to be the perpetrator or the protector? Do you understand that?

Do you understand that my womb and my blood, everything that I am carries the stories and the sorrow and the suffering of billions of people who have come before me, who have been killed, who have been raped, every possible thing that has been done to them? Do you understand that books, libraries, pictures, any historical inclusion of women have been erased? Women photoshop from millions of photos from everything. Do you understand that?

Literally, down to destroy the Library of Alexandria. Down to literally taking the shrine that we're created for the maiden and the mother and the crone and putting the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit on top of it. Do you get that? Do you understand that the first confessionals were created for sexual intercourse in secrecy in church? Did you know that? Did you know that religion was literally created to divide land, to sell homes? Homes were passed down between mother to daughter in the matrilineage.

The Catholic Church didn't want that anymore so they invented marriage. Any woman who did not agree to marry and give over her land was killed, was raped and was murdered. This is a fact. Then they told priests, "No, you can't marry anymore because we want the land to stay within the church". That's how celibacy started. Did you know that every single priest guard is a cape that makes them the mother of the brothers? There is embroidery for the breast.

Every single thing that you think you know, ask better questions. There is an astrologer at the table of the Vatican University. Every single piece of Islamic pine cone shamanism is everywhere over Vatican City. There are multiple accounts of people saying that there is a basement under the Vatican, where every single piece of evidence that discounts the Bible is hidden so nobody asked questions. Sexual abuse that is so obscene, it gets bought out. The abuse of our sons gets bought out and nobody asks questions. In the name of what? Celibacy and in the name of Holiness.

This is a sick fucking world. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense if we actually look at how our governments work, and how our systems work, and how is it possible that every single thing has been literally created to make you believe that it was from man and that we are the vessel, and we are so lucky to be the vessel. We are so lucky. We are so dirty and so disgusting that our babies are born in sin. Our babies are born in sin, and it is only a baptism that will clean that child because that passageway and that pussy is filthy.

Everything that is womanly, is disgusting until it is sanctified in marriage. Then we have martyrdom and the goalposts of holy motherhood which are burdening self into the ground and be selfless until you have no more soul. That is what makes you a saint of a mother. Everything, you get on your back, open your legs and be a good girl, in the hospital, in the bedroom, in the system. Everything that makes us feel alive is connected to our sacred authority, everything. We are not just here to literally birth babies. We are here to literally remember what it is to be human.

Our duty as womb holders is to be the moral compass of this world. Even though we've been killed, even though all the love we had has been used against us, we remember, we remember and we choose loving even when it is used against us. That's what makes us holy. Nothing that you say or mix is written in any fucking book or is anyone's agenda is going to make me believe anything other than I am holy because I am human and I remember what it is to be human.

I will not forget, you can try and beat it out of me. I will travel lifetimes to be the light, to help other people remember what it is to be human. My daughter and my son are not going to grow up on a planet that thinks that this is okay. My daughter and my son are not going to grow up in a world that believes it is okay to sell the suppression of women as sacred security. I am sick of seeing women and people who identify all over-- I'm sick of seeing them insecure, disconnected.

The only thing that we are sick with is our forgetfulness. We have let people convince us that we're fucking nuts. In 100 years, we like to think it's war, that's violence, no, what we've done in 100 years is unreal. It's just unreal. You cannot approach the climate crisis when you do not care about the seed in the soil of our mothers and the people birthing. We will not care about the lungs of the Amazon when we don't even give a fuck about the air that we breathe, and the ways that we feel alive. We don't value our own life. By extension, we will never value or fight for anything else.

In fact, we will sabotage it because our mouth tastes like resentment. If we didn't get to live, nobody else will. If we didn't get to feel alive, why the fuck should I make the world a better place? I feel stuck, why should you feel free? And whoopty-doo, there we go on the circle again. We can do better. It is not normal that we do not know how to love. That we chase romance in monogamy and marriages and mortgages to make us feel whole. We're so fucking broken, that we are chasing man-made constructs to make us feel full. Make us feel whole that will never, ever, ever work.

You are the only thing that can free yourself. You have to be responsible for that. When you take responsibility for the underbelly of your inner work, it sets everybody free. The discomfort you live into right now creates freedom for everybody that comes next. If you keep saying, "Yes ma'am, No, ma'am". If you don't ask any questions, this just keeps going round and round and round. When we are literally having more important conversations about fucking gun ownership laws than about children killing each other in schools with guns, we know we're fucked. When we see medical narcissism, medical error, when we see obstetric rape and abuse at birth, why are we surprised that rape continues to perpetuate itself through earth? When you tell a woman or person birthing that it is okay for your body to be touched and assaulted so long as your perpetrator says they're there to care for you, you normalise rape. You redefine love and care for that person and you tell their body that being loved and being cared for means being assaulted. You tell that child who is being born into that space, that bodily autonomy is a lie, that assault is normal, that adrenaline feels like home, that cortisol, that is the feeling of care.

What happens to that child? Well, that child sees and feels its mother and its fear. That child recognises the perpetrator and the victim, in that moment, it does. We know that when a child is witness to their mother or their care provider being abused, they are 70% more likely to become perpetrators themselves. so riddle me this, if one in three people are experiencing birth trauma and one in 10 people experienced PTSD as a direct result of physical and emotional trauma, that means that one in 10 people and then one in three people are being groomed to be perpetrators before they can even say their own name.

When that partner or those partners in that birth space watch the people they love being assaulted, they are then given permission to continue the abuse or worse, internalise it, feeling like a failure because they couldn't protect the mother of their children or the parent of their children. We will not be able to heal this fucking planet until we go back to basics and it's always going to go back to birth, death and sex. We can't heal death until we heal birth. We can't heal birth until we heal sex and we can heal sex until we heal the bleed.

That's just the fact.

We know they're right now they're changing laws. They're changing protocols and policy because your menstrual blood is the viscosity, the smell, the texture, the everything has more information about your health than any other reading on your body. Now, all of a sudden they care. They only care because too many of us are dying and who's going to procreate? What's going to happen?

Little girls who literally hate their bodies before they even have a chance to love themselves because blood is disgusting. Did you know that the number one way to escape an attempted kidnap or rape or assault is to tell your assailant that you are on your period? Because the murderers are more disgusted by menstruation then murder. Murderers are more offended by menstrual blood than murder. The system isn't broken.

The system is working exactly how it is intended to be. It’s intended to make us hate women, make us hate people. People who are in the non-binary world, they literally don't even have fucking any rights. They're just seen as fucking nothing, nuisances, they are not even seen as human. Our babies and our elderly people are seen as nothing, as worth nothing. Basically, this is what happens unless you're like a middle-aged person who is paying taxes, we don't give a fuck. That's just how it is.

Australia is the only Western democracy that does not have a human rights charter. We do not have a human rights charter. Did you know that every four years, a convention for the elimination of discrimination against women takes place and every four years, the country is required to submit a report on how they are identifying key challenges and what solutions they are putting in place in order to rectify it? Every four years. Australia was due to hand when it in 2014 they didn't hand it until 2016. Australia, for six years, didn't hand in a report on the convention of the elimination of discrimination against women for six years.

There is no law, no consequence and nobody organising or managing the consequence of not doing that. There is, let me say that again. There does not exist a human rights charter in this country. Doesn't exist. There is no consequences. There is nothing, no laws, nothing. In fact, in 2017, they identified 307 laws alone in Queensland, that infringed on four basic human rights, 307 laws.

If we don't have our human rights, we have nothing. I can't fight for human rights anywhere if we don't even have a fucking charter. Nothing. There's literally no guidelines and then hospitals have no patient safety outcomes or guidelines. There's not a global- there's not one global consensus patient safety outcomes and guidelines. It doesn't exist because nobody can agree on what care means.

Instead, it's a perfectly written document that saves the ass of the hospital legally and uses marketing material to make you feel like you're safe. Did you know that contraception is the longest-running uncontrolled science experiment of all time? Literally. Did you know that obstetrics was built on the back of Black women that were literally tortured and cut open and that we called it science and medicine?

Did you know that psychiatry, the same psychiatry, books that you use right now with that fucking guy's face on it was literally invented by a piece of shit, who called Negroism, a disease where he would bleed Black people out because it was a condition. The same guy who believed that humans were animals and had no soul. Yes, that's what your psychiatry is built on. They still have his photo as the ambassador for psychiatry.

This is the same guy who worked with a bunch of other White guys to instate stuff like clitorectomies or ovary punchers, were used to beat the ovaries of women, to beat the crazy out of them. Every single system that you are like looking up to, you have no idea where that even came from. You have no idea what you're even talking about, what you're reading about. You guys are obsessed with evidence-based research. Do you even know what that means? Who said that that is the truth? You don't even know how to read a study. Who paid for that study? Who were those people? What did they eat that day? What are their relationships like? What were their previous experiences like?

There is not one study that is flawless. It's impossible. You're creating truth out of something that's man-made and by definition has a margin of error and you're turning it into truth. You are literally creating science and medicine out of observing the person who's living that experience outside of them. You're studying them like a science experiment and you're removing the humanity in the soul out of that exact fucking person and you're disguising it as civilised science. Instead of, what is the person living feel like? No, because I have no evidence, that doesn't count. Our feelings, not that doesn't count. How we feel, we're crazy.

Please, I'm asking you everyone to just when next time you try and reference the Bible, next time to try and reference science, use your brain. When you actually do the research as to who wrote the book? Where did it come from? You're going to throw up when you realise where they fucking came from. It will literally shock you. Obstetrics was originally a hierarchy based system. Whoever the oldest doctor in the hospital was, he made the science and everyone had to follow suit. You fucking kidding me? This is anything.

Did you know that obstetrics and surgeons have the highest rate of medical narcissism? They're also the hugest apathy deficits, the biggest drug users and suicidal. Tell me, why are doctors defending a system that has them committing suicide at the same rate as mothers? How is it humanly possible that the system is so clever that they make doctors obstetrics? I hate fights, duels and consumers instead of helping each other by asking better questions and say, "Hold on a second, if you're dying by suicide and we're dying by suicide, you're depressed and on drugs and I'm depressed and on drugs, maybe we should work together."

No, but your ego is so fucking big that you need to stroke that big dick and not be wrong. No, Medical error, it doesn't exist in medical narcissism, it's just so perfectly placed because those working through and moving through this system are so hungry for omnipotent presence that's going to deliver miracles and save them, they're so desperate for this idea of a God and a Saviour, that they actually indulge the very same medical narcissism that has them injured and killed in the process. It's a perfect partnership.

You're desperate, you want a miracle, you're vulnerable, you want to be saved, you want to be rescued, here comes this person who has all the answers you need ready to put you in your place like a good girl and save you. “There you go, medical narcissism, loopty, loopty, loopty”. Same thing with priests, same thing with everybody else. So long as you keep looking for an omnipotent source to save you and remove you from your sins or save your baby, all of these narcissists will continue to just breed and feed straight up, that's it.

Why do we make you hate women and money? Because if women have money that's it, the world is changing. That's why they make you hate women who want to see change or hate people who are not cis-men, who want to see change. Why do they make women hate their bleed? because your magic is in your bleed, your intuitiveness, your psychicness, your connection to Earth, your connection to your community, your connection to your friends, your connection to your daughter, your connection to everything, so we make you allergic to it.

Why do we make you hate sex? Because it is your life force, it is your vitality, it's your joie de vivre, it's what makes you come alive, we'll make you repulsed by the thing that makes you feel alive. We'll make you think you're disgusting and then we get other women to buy into it and hate you too because they're so insecure and so dissociated from their own bodies, the only thing they could do is join the patriarchal army against us all. What a fucking world, what a fucking world.

I'm sad and I'm angry. I wonder how many times I'm going to have to cry. I wonder how many times I'm going to have to scream. I wonder how many times I'm going to want better for my children. How many times I'm going to want better for these fucking trees. How many times I'm going to pray and beg in my mind before somebody wakes the fuck up and says “guys if we all get pissed off together things will change, if you keep buying into this, nothing changes”. You can put all of your climate protests it won't do shit ever.

Greta is beautiful, I love her, How was Greta born? How was she born? What's her relationship to her mother, to her world, to the womb of the world? Why aren't celebrities talking about the things that matter? Why aren't influencers talking about the things that matter? Why do we still think that anything that doesn't speak English and is White and is a man is a "lower than". How the fuck did mankind convince themselves that they are above the thing that birthed them and sustained them? What the fuck? How? Where is the arrogance here?

You think I'm the risk, fucking hell. You must be really full of yourself and really fucking jealous if you think for a second that I'm going to believe that I was born from your rib cage. Honey, the only thing your rib cage created for was a prison of bars that have been lining my existence, my body, my brain and my soul as it has to my ancestors for a very long time. Your rib cage created a prison. I refuse to believe that this is the best of men and this is the best of women and this is what the world should look like. We are so much better than this. That's why I'm having bigger conversations because I am bored of how ridiculous these baseline issues are, I'm bored.

Why don't we have a female president in America? Why? Really think about this, okay? Why is it that there are no female influences or leaders anywhere and even when they are they're the fucking back-pocket of somebody, why? Why are there not churches full of women? You don't think that's weird? Why is it that brothels are illegal and any congregations of women are seen as witches and convents but congregations of men are seen as holy. Why is it that when a woman sees the future, is a healer and is psychic, she's a witch, but when a man talks to God and sees the future, he's a prophet.

No. It doesn't work like that. You don't get to fuck us and ask for our healing and ask for our love and ask for our magic and ask for our wombs when it convenes you and then kill us when it is too much. Doesn't work like that. I really believe in a world where every kind of human along the whole spectrum is seen and loved and is warm, and I can trust them to care for my kids.

Until I can trust humanity to be human, I will not shut up. This is not just about men there are a lot of fucked-up women who are sick with patriarchal disease, and a lot of fucked-up, fucked-up women who are horrible; but the fact is that in Australia 93% of sexual offenders and rapists and murderers are men, don't even hand this conversation with me. Those men are attacking other men. I am working with men right now who are so warm and so kind and don't want to be like those other men. This is the future. This is where we are going. It's an emergency.

I'm in my bathroom at 10 o'clock, I've been teaching for every day, all day of-- Do you think I've nothing else better to do than to do this? Trust me, but I'm not going to shut up because shit needs to change, end of story. I suppose the ending of this whole thing is now I'm going to tell you, "Fuck you". If you say something on my page I don't mind, fuck off, I'm defining myself, fuck you, end of story.

I'm fed up, I'm fed up of somebody always questioning my integrity or me having to defend myself and last thing that Peter blew my mind with today, and I'm like, "This is exactly it", you do not have the right to question what I charge or how much money I make when you have no idea what it costs me to create this work or to fight for my voice or to do anything that involves me showing up when I have children who need me and a world that is desperate for this information. Do not bore me with conversations about sexuality and money and wealth.

Fuck you, and if you are here and you are supportive and you are wonderful, you will always be welcome in this place and you will always be welcome in my home and my womb and everywhere else. Otherwise, I am so over it. I don't care anymore and I can't care about everything, I don't have the space for it. There are too many things. I care about what I can care about right now and I care hard. Do not try and make me feel like shit because I can't cut myself into a million pieces and be everything for everyone. I'm not going to spend my days defending that I am a good person, I'm going to show up and say, "No". Yes. Fuck off. Fuck yes.


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